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Struggling to make friends

NAS78290

Hi, I am struggling to make friends and I would like help on how to make friends and to be more confident in myself but at the moment I am struggling badly is there anyway anyone can help me thanks x

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I love this reply Blush

    my son has had huge difficulties with making friends (made ten times worse by having Selective Mutism as well as being autistic). 

    I read out these replies to him  -we both really appreciated them Tropical fishOceanOceanOcean

  • We'll be your friends whilst you figure out how to tackle this extremely common challenge in your own proximate world.

    True friends take a long of time to materialise in my experience, and can manifest very slowly from the least likely of places, and then you suddenly realise they are beside you.  Accordingly, be super patient for real friends and don't discount anyone for any reason.

    In the meanwhile my mantra is "company is company."

    If you want to catch a fish, you have to go fishing.

    If you can't face fishing yet, then at least go to the lake, sea or river regularly and just wander around.  This will stop you developing a fear of water (if nothing else.)

    Maybe go on a boat trip - there are plenty of videos on Youtube of inexplicable fishes jumping into boats, even when they are not fishing.

    Apologies for the out-of-control analogy, but you get the point I hope.

    Stay positive and patient.

  • Hello, I understand it can be difficult to make friends.

     I thought I found it difficult until I started to connect with other autistic people. Personally, I find it so much easier engaging with my neurokin, rather than trying to make neurotypical friends. Maybe you just need to find your own autistic tribe too!

    Hopefully, you feel like this autistic community is welcoming and friendly. You could try socialising more on this forum and then see if you feel more confident.

    Also, maybe you need to find people (maybe other autistics) who share the same interests. We usually build friendships on this basis because we have an immediate connection and conversation starter.

    This explanation below from the AutCollab website ‘A communal definition of autism ‘ article might help:

    A common Autistic way of making friends

    To construct trusted relationships and friendships, Autistic people apply an explicit goal oriented approach:

    1. Search for people with shared interests, usually online
    2. Confirm a shared area of interest
    3. Start having fun by openly sharing knowledge, personal experiences, and related gaps of knowledge and questions
    4. Explore what can be achieved with joint capabilities and capacities
    5. Embark on significant joint projects (examples) to have more fun

    I hope this helps. We are your autistic community, we are here for you.

  • Im hopeless at making friends too, not even sure I want to half the time but the rest of the time I desperately need to