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I can't relate to most autistic people

NAS81714

I find it so hard. I don't feel like I'm a part of either the neurotypical or neurodivergent commmunity. Ive been diagnosed with adhd so a lot of typical autistic traits don't apply to me...I'm in an autistic coaching group with other young males but they all seem to be interested in stereotypical autisitc traits like having an interest in dugeons and dragons and stuff like that. I want to meet new people but it seems everything is so forced in meetup groups and is aimed for "geeky" people like that.

I don't really have any "special interests". I like working out, driving, writing. I'm a straight white male, 19, and my interests or more or less the same as NTs my age: i was briefly at university and I enjoyed clubbing etc and going out getting drunk, but it seems most autistic people don't like that? I can be successful with women as well although nto as much as NTs...

Had to go to my local mental health centre the other dya because I think a relapse in my depression started and they gave me links to local autistic groups...all of which seem to focus on people with severe, low functioning autism rather than being mildly high functioning autism, but mild enough to have social difficulties etc. 

It feels hopeless.

Parents

  • I do find it curious how much the 'special interests' angle gets pushed as something almost prescriptive rather than something that often, but not always, applies. Case in point: Aucademy's generally very helpful videos, which are otherwise at great pains to emphasise diversity within the autistic populace, always start with this question put to each guest of 'What's your [apparently mandatory!] special interest?' Almost with an implied '...and you'd better have one or why else are you here?' at the end. Once or twice, people have been blindsided by the question and almost apologised for not having one. Or said, 'oh well, researching autism I suppose'. That must make some people watching feel even more alone, which is a shame. 

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  • I do find it curious how much the 'special interests' angle gets pushed as something almost prescriptive rather than something that often, but not always, applies. Case in point: Aucademy's generally very helpful videos, which are otherwise at great pains to emphasise diversity within the autistic populace, always start with this question put to each guest of 'What's your [apparently mandatory!] special interest?' Almost with an implied '...and you'd better have one or why else are you here?' at the end. Once or twice, people have been blindsided by the question and almost apologised for not having one. Or said, 'oh well, researching autism I suppose'. That must make some people watching feel even more alone, which is a shame. 

Children
  • in reply to Shardovan

    That's because it is pretty close to one of the 2 must have criteria for a diagnoses. DSM-5 ASD criteria B "Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities": the 4 sub signs being:

    1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).
    2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).
    3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circum­ scribed or perseverative interests).
    4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse re­ sponse to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

    With out one of these you can't get an ASD diagnosis. I'm guessing 3 and 4 are the most common amongst high functioning autistic people. Diagnosis purely on the basis of 4 is rare I think. In part because it's a more recent addition.

    Thing is a special interest could be anything. It could be politics or pole dancing. Science or skydiving. Not all autistic people are going to have a special interest in stereotypical geeky activities. But I think most high functioning autistic people will have "Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus."