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Social struggles

NAS81738

I’m about to start university and moved into my dorm yesterday and I’m so scared. I’m mostly worried about all the social interactions I’ll have to do. The easiest coping mechanism would be to just isolate, but because of my living situation I have to interact with others, + I’m scared I might feel lonely, and then there is the fact that I want to make friends, sort of. I feel like a have to or whatever. Is it okay to be lonely? I do want to connect with others but there is always something in the way for me. I can overcome my anxieties and interact with others but I always feel like I did something wrong. It’s always been like that. I take courtage and then I’m like, now what? I just don’t know how to be comfortable around others, and considering the fact that I’m living with others, that’s a problem. 

  • NAS81738 said:
    but I always feel like I did something wrong

    Now that is a feeling I know really well.  It's horrible.  It's highly likely that you did (and are generally doing) NOTHING wrong, its just that NT's get a spidey feeling that there is something a bit different about you.  Most NT's like beige and dislike anything that is a bit different - I think it scares them - that is my impression anyway.

    I do have some good news for you - solely based on my experience (I have noted that many people in this place had VERY different experiences of Uni than I) - but I found that Uni was a great place to find wonderfully weird and wonderful people.  I didn't make huge numbers of connections, but more than enough to make it one of my happiest times.  

    The lead-up to departure to Uni is frightening as hell for everyone (no matter what bravado some spout) so you are definitely not alone in your general sense of fear right now.  You are being super normal !!!

    If you stick to your guns and just be yourself (not as easy as I make it sound,) I expect that other free-thinking, independently minded humans will readily spot you around and you will form a respectful and sociable tribe with a few of them that will respect each other and their peculiar needs and challenges.

    Don't expect this to be a nightmare experience.....it might be the better than you ever thought possible !

    Very best of luck - and congratulations for getting in.