Hello all, originally I had about 10 paragraphs written down but I am going to trim this for your benefit and so it seems less like I am all over the place! An important point before you read, I am not yet diagnosed but have suspected ASD for over a year as it makes a lot of my life make sense, and I recently got a referral for an assessment which should begin soon.
To put things simply I am highly achieving in my subject choices (Maths which I just got an A* in, and Further maths Physics and History which I take as A levels next year), but while I have various interests in them as far as I can tell they are not 'special interests'. Instead I have 'special interests' in Professional cycling and especially cycling race route design (I know the geography of France very well and can recall the locations of major passes in France as well as their elevation, and their length and slopes on different sides.) I also have an interest in my plush toys which has somewhat compounded with my interest in cycling (endless hours have been spent creating races, riders and databases in cycling simulators to bring this imaginary world to life.) Anyway my issue is that outside my school hours (which are fairly atypical from 9am to 6pm) my time is completely consumed by these narrow interests. Homework? Thats left to the last minute, possibly done in breaks between my last lesson and my next one where its due. revision? Ha forget about it! Maybe in the last couple of weeks before exams, where I might do the odd hour or two, but for the most part revision is not something I do. Now while its very fun to spend all this time on what I believe to be special interests, it isn't great for where I go after A levels. I may have just barely pulled out an A* in my Maths exam with predicted A* in History and Physics, but I am interested in applying to Cambridge as its the top university in the country for my favorite subject and the small tutorials are extremely suitable for me...
Bit of background, I am doing my A levels a year later than most people because I had to restart. I really struggled first year even though I was at arguably the top state sixth form in the country, because I could not cope effectively in the large class sizes etc. My learning was negatively impacted and due to the afore mentioned issues with a lack of interest in my subjects out of school and I really struggled. When I left after the end of year exams I barely scraped an E in Chemistry (which I since dropped for History), I got a B in Maths and a C in Physics, as well as failing the Further Maths test. As you can imagine the reason the small tutorial classes are great for me because I come into my element in small groups where I am a lot more confident and struggle less. Its also why I've coped better / regained confidence with my A levels since I joined my new Sixth Form since class sizes are limited in size (the largest one is Physics and we still only have 8 students)
... returning back to the issue of applying for Cambridge, my narrow interests are a problem because of the fact they are all consuming. I hardly spend any time reading or looking into areas of my subjects of interest outside of an occasional youtube video, and thats a problem because a top university like Cambridge will want me to demonstrate my interest in their course through extra-curricular activity. Sure I have taken part in a few maths / physics challenges, and I watched a few lectures that got me quite interested in Volcanology, but I've hardly done much "extra reading." I am not even certain I want to do natural sciences!
tl:dr
So my problem in a nutshell - my special interests are time consuming but won't really be helpful in looking for a career (at least not in the short term, I am pretty certain I might end up in cycling somewhere but I don't know what exactly, its not like I can just ring up ASO and become a route designer for the Tour de France like that...) I've turned to academia since its a setting that suits me but I really have no clue what to study barring a general interest in Physics. Although I am getting good grades all around I am terrified of applying for the wrong course since I've already seen how terrible it can go with my experiences at my previous school. The problem is I don't know which interests are reliable to follow and can realistically be followed in university (cycling has been an interest for many years now in some capacity but something like Volcanology I got really into for a few months and haven't really thought much about it since, doesn't mean I have no interest but I don't want to plan for a career in an area I might not find interesting in a year or so.)
At the end of the day I may be just fretting, its not that I have shown no interest in these subjects at all (I've been a part of eco clubs, done physics / maths challenges and read a bit / watched lectures on volcanology.) But I have no clear idea of where I want to go and I am torn between pursuing a career of some form in professional cycling (what I suspect is a special interest of mine, but would likely not involve academia in most cases which is where I want to be) or pursuing academia in my favorite subject physics, which I am academically capable of but I am worried that with my other interests taking over all other aspects of life I won't have the motivation to study and work hard enough unless I find a specific niche area which I get really into.
Again sorry if this is just rambling, I am super divided between areas of interest that are strong but not particularly academic in nature (which leads to a lot of uncertainty which I hate) vs the academic option, but one I know I might not succeed in and even if I do I might not be happy.
