Published on 12, July, 2020
Something I've posted about before, I know, but because of the deep seated and longstanding issues within my family, I'm always on the lookout for further information. Now, I've just been watching this video on "The Burnout Recovery cycle", which admittedly will be useful to some to enable them to plan and cope. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aG_41uh-WAIAnd yes, It might have been useful for me in the past and I can see how it works for a well motivated individual like Paul Micallef. But, like many of the speakers and advocates I follow, there he is looking well groomed, organised and very much in control of his life. I accept that appearances can be deceptive and we don't know what goes on behind closed doors in a person's private life. But even taking that into consideration, this still feels very different from our family problems with burnout. All the speakers and autistic advocates I can find seem very well informed and motivated, not to mention very well groomed and presentable. And within our family we see a very different picture. People who opt out or withdraw altogether, never rejoin society, major difficulties with personal hygiene and too burnout to do very much at all other than very basic things like eating and going to the loo. Motivation is low, especially given the mental health issues that then accumulate (unhelped by services who have been able to offer nothing - we've tried) and anything else is understandably a low priority (if basic survival is a problem, you're not going to be thinking about how greasy your hair is, for example). And they're not really in any position to use self management strategies such as those outlined in this video. If they were, they'd already be well on the way to recovery, with only minor support from others. So... Is this really ALL burnout? Should the term have subdivisions (e.g. to cover a range from brief, episodic burnout that is amenable to self help to almost total collapse and withdrawal)? How can we best support someone in this situation? And where are the videos from people who've recovered from, say, years of burnout and needed significant support in the meantime? Is there anywhere that families can turn for more specific advice and guidance? It's very hard not to feel desperate about this.
Jenny Butterfly said:episodic burnout that is amenable to self help to almost total collapse and withdrawa
pretty much like autisitc people, all kinds and variaties,
I've never had a 'amenable' version, until to many traumatic events coincided, and than I had a 'total collapse' one, for 8 weeks, and recovery took 1 year and 9 months
it was before official diagnosis, I selfidentified during it, and in the end I was eating dry pasta because I had nothing left to eat
I spent 95% of those 8 weeks in bed sleeping and in half awake state, but when the thoughts about recent events stopped looping over in that paranoidal way we do, and the thoughts to end it all ended, I decided I have to go back to work, or I will just starve to death in bed
then it was year nad 9 months of zombie mode, operating as if I had 3 spoons instead of 12 daily available
Jenny? i managed to get back, so if you want to drop more detailed querstions don't hesitate
Yes, the more "amenable" version eludes us too. Its existence only seems tantalisingly close when I watch such videos which, of course, I feel compelled to seek out because we're so desperate.
Your experience sounds terrible too and I think it can all be compounded through late identification. Certainly within our family not being identified beforehand made it more likely to happen and ensured it was misdiagnosed when it did.
Over the years I also pushed myself closer and closer to it through my constant efforts to shape up and be a good neurotypical. And all the time I thought I was somehow improving myself and becoming the ideal employee!
So glad you came through though, both for your sake and because your story gives hope.
I not sure that I have any specific questions but my general one would be whether anything anyone else did either helped or hindered you.
Plus if anyone has a handy video in the same vein as the "Autism from the Inside" one but on "Burnout from the Outside" that'd be great. I'm basically looking for anything for parents, carers and friends.