Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi guys, we go away tomorrow as a family of 5, 2kids, 1 dog and us. I've have been prepping for ages for this week away in Wales in a caravan. My is autistic (male) with PDA.
I have ensured that the stress of all the things I have needed to do haven't been put onto him at all, to the finest detail of me loading the car tonight while he chilled with the kids. Of course he is struggling and has just said "he can't be arsed with any of this" he's unsure, nervous etc I get it. Weve talked it over briefly just now and ended it with a hug and kiss and that it's going to be ok. He held my hard tightly as I walked away. I know he needs me alot in these sorts of situations. And to be honest if I'm totally shattered at the end of this week but the kids have had a great time and he hasn't gone into a crisis then I'm winning.
However I am and always will be open to any tips and advice. So go ahead chuck them at me.
Hope you are all good and dealing with the sunshine ok.
Xxx
I'm going to highlight 'he chilled with the kids' as I imagine that doesn't stress him or else you wouldn't ask, and perhaps good at it, so on holiday doing that when needed can help him and the kids, and you. Chilling with kids is one way, or time by himself if he needs. He needs to take the focus away from this stresses and thoughts, and being Dad with the kids either chilling or doing things with them is ideal.
You are guiding him well and its working, though draining for you - he might learn to cope better gradually, start to know to do by himself, what he is best at, and learn to manage himself as best he can, do more to help you if he can.
It will be a mixture of things that are stressing him, anxieties like being away from home or somewhere new, low-frustration threshold (not able to cope well with minor difficulties, or quickly angry about them). You could talk to him about what happens in his mind, thoughts he has, get him to write them down if thats easier. Over-thinking, over-analysing, over-reacting, all very common, but also is scrambled thinking or confusion, you can't always think you way out of these either and need a calm nudge.
Enjoy the small moments, even if the week is really difficult overall, and maybe make a scrap book together with the kids when you get back, the best photos and write down the great, funny, and daft moments.