Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been on this forum for a few years now and, so many of the conversations about meltdowns / shutdowns I've been involved with seem to include chat about trying meditation once or twice as a solution / remedy and 'it not working for me'. So I thought I dedicate a thread specifically to it.
I write this because it has taken me to do the same, try, lose interest, and consider it not right for me, for the past 12-15 years.
It was only after about 6/7 years I realised that I just needed to include it in my daily routine, everyday, even days when I feel so hyped up I don't see any immediate benefit in it, that it has had a knock on effect.
Emotions become something I now observe arriving, I question my compulsions before I react. It has retrained my natural tendancy to react in physical ways, be it behavioural or physiological. It has put my IBD into remission for years, much to the Dr's disbelief.
It has done something to me I can't explain, but it took committing to it 100% to reach that point.
So, in short, I recommend it to all of you. Even those of you reading this saying 'oh no, it definitely doesn't work for me'. I said the same, I was wrong
Mediation is a practice, you have to find the time each day and make sure its not interrupt with thoughts that don't help, and that can be challenge. I found mindfulness more useful, though that took a while too, I found focussing to music worked much better than any other version I tried, focussing on each layer for a second or so, then the next layer, and so on, and focus on the patterns as well. I don't need it as much now, as my mind is not swamped like it was,
Rather than a meditation routine, as I would struggle to remember each day, I kind of go in my mind just when I need to, explore things/ideas, or remember good places and memories, and recommend that. Autistic people can be stuck in their minds a lot for negative reasons, or dwell on thoughts, but your mind can be good place to go as well.
Long periods stuck with anxiety, or swamped by thoughts, or being overwhelmed, are not good, it can make a big difference to put a break in each day, even if just 10 minutes to start with, and mindfulness or mediation is the best method we know of to have a break or think of better things, explore what you want to.
I do find my mind less racing when I engage in regular meditation. Like if I go on a walk i can be more present. I find the whole point of meditation is that it gets interrupted with thoughts. This way you bring it back to the breath. This very act is mindfulness in action. So the more thoughts you have, the more of a workout you give your brain.
We all have to find what works for ourselves.
Yes, its hard work to refocus early on as you can just chase thoughts or be swamped and forget about the meditating, but as you keep doing it then you are getting a break from these thoughts that might affect you, so you can feel a bit better and at peace, and that is like a drug to the brain to keep doing it, and do it more. Calm brains don't generate so many difficult thoughts, so its worth working towards that.