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I'm Struggling

Glitters

Hi. I'm finding things hard at the moment and I'm struggling with pretty much everything. Life with Autism is hard anyway but since becoming an adult I'm finding it even harder now, it feels like it anyway.

I'm constantly stressed and worried but I can't seem to pin down the trigger. It's frustrating because I can't work out what's causing the upset. I can remember a lot of bad things that happened like my dad having heart problems, my sisters road accident that killed her. I can remember these crystal clear like they were yesterday.

I get dreams. Almost every night, makes me afraid to go to sleep. Usually it's one of two dreams, either seeing and hearing my sister die or I attack someone. Both are scary and seem so real at the time. I wake up suddenly, heart racing and I'm drenched in sweat.

My other problem is pain. I'm in pain a lot, I've been to hospital and had blood tests and scan but nothing showed. Pain is normally in my chest and stomach, sometimes my back, sides and groin area. I guess it's just anxiety. It's annoying and uncomfortably, knocks me down if it gets to bad.

I feel like I'm heading for burnout, if I'm not already in it.

I'm exhausted, mood up and down, and sometimes my thoughts stray in to colder and darker places. 

I'm hoping being here might help me stabilise again.

Glitters.

Parents

  • thats hard, because usually in most cases depressive feelings rise more towards the end of the day towards night and sleep is often the solution and escape.

    is it possible for you to change bedrooms?
    i had weird nightmares and weird visual and auditory hallucinations at night when i was younger but it all got better and i got better sleep when i changed bedrooms. so a change of bedroom could help. perhaps some rooms are just too negative to sleep in?

  • in reply to Caelus

    There's a spare bedroom I may be able to go in to but I don't know if my mum will let me. I'm sorry about your nightmares and hallucinations, that sounds so scary, could be what I've been having as well. My room does look out at a graveyard so that might not be helping.

  • in reply to Glitters

    i think depending on how long you slept and lived in the bedroom it accumulates years and years of negative energy from you and all the trauma and bad stuff in life remains there and is constantly being reabsorbed as you sleep perhaps. which is why a change of sleeping room could solve sleep issues maybe.

    even now if i have any weird dreams or they go bad in some way in my dream i am immediately pulled back into my old room. perhaps my old room is just haunted, or that what i said about a lifetime of negative energy just floating there where you slept all your life doesnt fade away and would torment you in your sleep. theres alot we dont know about our being and how our mind works, perhaps when we sleep the brain ejects all the negative stuff and tries to recharge but that stuff stays in the atmosphere there as it cannot be got rid of and so the place you sleep accumulates this negative stuff and negatively effects future sleep. 

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  • in reply to Glitters

    i think depending on how long you slept and lived in the bedroom it accumulates years and years of negative energy from you and all the trauma and bad stuff in life remains there and is constantly being reabsorbed as you sleep perhaps. which is why a change of sleeping room could solve sleep issues maybe.

    even now if i have any weird dreams or they go bad in some way in my dream i am immediately pulled back into my old room. perhaps my old room is just haunted, or that what i said about a lifetime of negative energy just floating there where you slept all your life doesnt fade away and would torment you in your sleep. theres alot we dont know about our being and how our mind works, perhaps when we sleep the brain ejects all the negative stuff and tries to recharge but that stuff stays in the atmosphere there as it cannot be got rid of and so the place you sleep accumulates this negative stuff and negatively effects future sleep. 

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