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Social Rules

dccwal_90

When I filled in a referral form for the local Integrated Autism Service (IAS) I was asked 'Do you have an example of an unspoken social rule that you have struggled with?'

I struggled to answer this question as I did not understand what was meant by an unspoken social rule.

Therefore if anyone can give me examples of an 'unspoken social rule' then it might help me understand what they are referring to ahead of my assessment.

Parents

  • Thank you everyone who has contributed so far. Keep going with them. It's very useful and using your examples I can start to see where there are difficulties with me. 

    Having read what has been written so far, I'm thinking yes I have trouble with things like knowing how to depart from people and how to say goodbye to people, birthdays and general gift giving and eating left over food on other people's plates as well (all these I think were mentioned).

    I may as well mention the concept of a 'round' when your out drinking in a group (as this appears to meet the criteria of an unwritten rule). I wait to be told it's my turn but deep down I just spend the night thinking in my head....I really just want to buy my own drinks. 

    It gets confusing then when you go out and people don't do a round system after you think you've learnt that is something that occurs. Offering to buy drinks for people....it has been suggested that I do that in the past and I'm like why?

  • in reply to dccwal_90

     I have a huge problem with knowing how to depart from/say goodbye to people too. I have been told that I just stand there and prolong the conversation even although they are making all the signs that the conversation has ended and that they are trying to move away. This is ironic given that I want nothing more than to be able to move away myself and have only stopped to talk to them out of politeness in the first place. I just can't seem to find the right "formula" for escaping and seem to get rooted to the spot. I have been told that I just stand and stare at people and probably make them feel uncomfortable! This is one of the reasons why, whenever possible, I hide to avoid people if I am out and see anyone who might be likely to say something to me.

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  • in reply to dccwal_90

     I have a huge problem with knowing how to depart from/say goodbye to people too. I have been told that I just stand there and prolong the conversation even although they are making all the signs that the conversation has ended and that they are trying to move away. This is ironic given that I want nothing more than to be able to move away myself and have only stopped to talk to them out of politeness in the first place. I just can't seem to find the right "formula" for escaping and seem to get rooted to the spot. I have been told that I just stand and stare at people and probably make them feel uncomfortable! This is one of the reasons why, whenever possible, I hide to avoid people if I am out and see anyone who might be likely to say something to me.

Children