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Help with diagnosis

Melj71

Hi. I'm Melinda.  I'm not formally diagnosed although my son is, my psychiatrist and GP seem reluctant to get a diagnosis as "there's no medication or cure" and they are treating my diagnosis of bipolar. 

I want to know if what I believe is true, I have ASD as does my brother, my nephew and my son. I know it won't help me much but I need to know. I'm fixating on it now. I've managed to hold down a job and raise a family until now, I'm 50. I have had 3 failed marriages and never stuck a job out for long. I struggled at school even though I was labelled gifted and highly intelligent. My exam results did not reflect this. 

I struggle to maintain friendships and relationships. Even with my own family. Is there anyone else out there who had a late diagnosis and do you have any advice for me please?

  • in reply to Autonomistic

    Indeed.  It's a travesty that finance and resource should come into it.  We have as much right as anyone else to identify who we are and live our lives fully as we are.  We aren't going to get to do that as long as anyone thinks we are just NTs gone wrong who ought to pull our socks up. 

    And late diagnosed women, who have flown under the radar and sort of appeared to cope, are often the ones who suffer the most from lack of support, because nobody sees us.

    Ooooo this does get me cross.  Very cross!

  • Far too many people are getting fobbed off by their GP when they seek a diagnosis, especially older females who are much more likely to have been overlooked earlier in their lives. 

    If 'no medication or cure' was a valid reason to refuse a referral then nobody would ever get assessed!

    I suspect it has more to do with the financial implications for the GP, rather than the wellbeing of the patient seeking the diagnosis.

    My GP refused to refer me at first, even though I scored extremely highly on the AQ10. He said that attending the assessment would be too much for me, due to my severe anxiety, and that it would be a waste of time. I knew that severe lifelong anxiety was one of the key indicators of being autistic. I was persistent and eventually got referred and received my diagnosis aged 50. 

    If you feel you need to know then keep asking and don't take no for an answer.

  • GPs with that attitude really annoy me. I'm even more shocked by the attitude of your psychiatrist, who really ought to know better.

    Yes, it could help you a very great deal. I more over think you need an in depth assessment with someone who knows a lot about both autism and bipolar. They need to be able tease apart which experiences are due to what as much as to determine whether you are autistic and whether a bipolar diagnosis is even correct.

    For one thing late identified autistic people are often misdiagnosed and inappropriately treated before they realise they are autistic. They mistakenly thought I was BPD and didn't really believe my medical phobias before I was identified. MH did a lot of damage to me as a result.

    If you are bipolar, you need any treatment for that to happen with your autism at the core of it to get real benefit from it.

    You may have other support needs, socially or at work, say, which are currently being neglected and which could improve life in general significantly for you.

    I'd ask to see another GP and insist you understand the waiting time are long but you have a right to know and you believe it could positively impact your care in many ways.

    No, there's no cure. God, who'd want one? But there is a lot that can be done to help you better.

  • I'm nearly 50 and discovered Autism from spending nearly a decade reading Deleuze and Guattari's Capitalism and Schizophrenia. I found it easier to read when I didn't have a partner bothering me. LOL 

    I've also discovered Autistic-wiring is a great way to perceive and understand life. There's other women here our age and some great insight. I can leave you with some links for a deep dive or just start chatting here and you might find you'll connect.

    Most of us go through life feeling unheard and misrepresented. So, finding a collective of autistics and finally not having to explain myself is quite a relief. One doesn't need a diagnostic for that. There is something neuro-biologically that recognises another and being seen and affirmed can do a world of good. 

    This chap is one of my favourites: https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ

    And another site which is quite good neuroclastic.com/.../