Feeling like an imposter/doubting diagnosis

I received my diagnosis at the age of 30. I was quoted a wait of 2 years after the screening, but it was just under 5 when the diagnosis began. In the end I had to chase things up, which caused a huge deal of anxiety (reaching out to the unknown and unsure of what the response would be, worried that I’d come off as demanding etc.)

I too am an over thinker, so can entirely understand where you are coming from. I have spent much of my life feeling like an outsider, someone of the peripheries. Those feelings are still there, but I can’t say I feel like an imposter like I did during the wait for diagnosis. So that’s something at least. 

I think post diagnosis I have more questions than I did before, but I also have more answers or potential answers that I did before too. I certainly know where to look now, after many mis-diagnosis of anxiety disorders etc, which is different to the past.

I was very open about my worries in the diagnosis process. I explained my concerns about ‘what if I’m not given a diagnosis? What next in that instance? What if I don’t present in a certain way, but I do in another? What if I forget something and I comes back to be later, or even worse, after the process entirely?’

By stating this, I was reassured to find that the assessors explained things to me and had encountered others with similar worries. All in all, they were great and very thorough. I just made sure to voice my worries and showcase my inner narrative of concerns as they arose. It was a little unlike me to show an outsider this side of me, but ultimately I think it helped in their diagnosis of me, but also in managing some of my worries.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Yeah I have the same feelings about having to chase things up for all the same reasons. I get so anxious and frustrated about having to do this as an individual in life. I just wish people would just make the contact that is needed when they say they will.  

What you said about having diagnosis of anxiety disorders is very intriguing. This is because I currently have a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder and I am now starting to believe this was a mis-diagnosis as well. This could be a way forward for me in terms of expression my concerns vocally about the process. Using some of the very same questions you have posed. 

Thank you for the best wishes.  

Yeah I have the same feelings about having to chase things up for all the same reasons. I get so anxious and frustrated about having to do this as an individual in life. I just wish people would just make the contact that is needed when they say they will.  

What you said about having diagnosis of anxiety disorders is very intriguing. This is because I currently have a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder and I am now starting to believe this was a mis-diagnosis as well. This could be a way forward for me in terms of expression my concerns vocally about the process. Using some of the very same questions you have posed. 

Thank you for the best wishes.  

dccwal_90 said:

I just wish people would just make the contact that is needed when they say they will.

It’s a frustrating feeling when this doesn’t happen in such high stakes instances like this, that’s for sure.

With regards to previous misdiagnosed conditions, this is something that lead me down the route of an autism diagnosis in the first place. Anxiety disorders, mood disorders and variations of bipolar are all labels that were sort of out my way. Multiple health professionals involved over years, suggesting this diagnosis or that. None of them really fit though and any versions of treatment didn’t work either. I certainly don’t blame any of those people involved, after all it’s a very complex and unique diagnosis. But I now know that it was because autism was the actual reason, not a condition as described above. I found aspects of each fit in different ways, but there was always something missing. None of them explained the burnout I’d experience, none explained my sensory difficulties, my reliance on routine, my occasional inflexible thinking, the way that I’d talk myself out of every potentially risky situation, my very frequent absorption into intense periods of thought or the various social doubts and challenges I face. ASD gave me the answers I have been looking for my whole life. After finding this answer, I’m now starting to see all of the challenges as a strength in the right context (e.g. my attention to detail and tunnel vision when Poseidon are/interested in something).

I genuinely think that vocalising these concerns in my assessment meetings was the best thing for me to do. It was a real life demonstration of the everyday worries that have defined my life up to now.