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Feeling like an imposter/doubting diagnosis

dccwal_90

As a new member and as I browse around the discussion board it's the first discussion point I wish to enquire make a contribution about. 

Is this a common experience particularly of those who have been diagnosed later as an adult?

I haven't been diagnosed yet but I have periods of thought which say well I am able to speak articulately, I can make some eye contact with people and just from looking at me as I present there are no immediate signs of autism. I probably wouldn't appear autistic to neurotypical people and those not as knowledgeable and I don't satisfy the stereotypical perception of an autistic person. A lot of it with me feels like it is hidden or comes from evidence from my childhood. They wouldn't be able to ascertain it from sitting in a room sitting opposite me.  

Edit: I am an overthinker so this is probably contributing to the above thoughts. So my overthinking also is making me doubt what I'm doing in seeking a diagnosis so later on in life. .  

I guess I am concerned for the diagnostic process and hope that it is thorough. 

Thanks in advance

Parents

  • Hi! Basically I read that post and I could have written every word of it, myself, though I was diagnosed last week. Long before I realised I was autistic, I was suffering from imposter syndrome, always worried at work that I wasn't really good enough, that I wasn't who people thought I was, and that I would get 'found out'. I now look back and think that was likely part of being autistic, and was a consequence of masking.

  • in reply to MartinW

    Hi Martin, I think I could have almost written every word of your post as well somewhere else on here haha. I almost certainly identify with the particular thoughts about not being who people thought I was and I can definitely recall times where I expressed an internal view that I would get found out for trying to act and behave normally. I often used the expression internally that my confidence was a result of me just putting on a performance and faking it to make it and when I had to go outside I would say time to put on a performance just so I could function and mask how anxious it was all making me.

    I'm in the process of coming terms with the likelihood that for large parts of my 32 years to date I was masking for a lot of it.  I have done really well to somehow find a way to get through the 32 years of my life to date.  

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  • in reply to MartinW

    Hi Martin, I think I could have almost written every word of your post as well somewhere else on here haha. I almost certainly identify with the particular thoughts about not being who people thought I was and I can definitely recall times where I expressed an internal view that I would get found out for trying to act and behave normally. I often used the expression internally that my confidence was a result of me just putting on a performance and faking it to make it and when I had to go outside I would say time to put on a performance just so I could function and mask how anxious it was all making me.

    I'm in the process of coming terms with the likelihood that for large parts of my 32 years to date I was masking for a lot of it.  I have done really well to somehow find a way to get through the 32 years of my life to date.  

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