Head banging

I am at my wits end. I can’t do this anymore. My son is 3 years old and he cries and head bangs 23 hrs of the day. He’s injured himself and others and I just don’t know how I can do this. I have tried everything. He has been referred to people/places but it’s all taking so long. I have other children too an I can’t go on like this. I just want to find what makes him happy. Pensive

  • Hello NAS81070,

    I'm sorry to hear about your son. I've found this on the NAS website:

    "The person might have no other way of telling you their needs, wants and feelings. Head slapping, or banging the head on a hard surface, may be a way of telling you they are frustrated, a way of getting an object or activity they like, or a way of getting you to stop asking them to do something. Hand biting might help them cope with anxiety or excitement. They might pick their skin because they are bored. Ear slapping or head banging might be their way of coping with discomfort or saying that something hurts."

    Here is the link to read more about it: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/self-injurious-behaviour/all-audiences

    Wishing you all the best,

    Karin Mod

  • The support system is almost non-existent for many people. You need to find what is making your son unhappy first. Ironically, head banging is a self-regulatory behaviour. It is often done in response to the autistic person - yes, autistic adults can use 'self harm' to regulate - being unable to cope with a situation. The situation can be a sensory overload, frustration due to inability to communicate something to others, or through emotional overload. Autistic children can also head bang to attract a parent's attention. It would be useful to try to note what was happening in your child's environment before the head banging starts. That way you might be able to spot triggers.

    To give you some idea of what it feels like from the inside, the impulse to self harm comes when a situation completely overwhelms one's ability to cope. It is very rare, but I will still hit myself on the side of the head when overwhelmed in that way. The physical pain is like a 'reset switch', the build-up of internal tension is eased and the situation becomes bearable again.