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Disposable people...

I Sperg

Autism brings with it a certain amount of friction between us and the normies, O.K.

BUT I've been discarded by SO very many people as if I were a used tissue.

I've had a little cluster of it this month, so it's of particular interest to me this week.

I've been working the problem for a full half century now, and I still can't quite decide why I seem to be so "discardable".

I've tried being nice, useful, controlling, submissive, and simply being myself, during various decades, but every time just when I think I've managed to get a few people around me who I can trust, it seems I discover I was either being "used", or "tolerated" by someone and my time is up....

I've learned to live with it, and just treasure the people around me who are not currently rejecting me.

  • to find out you've been just 

    I Sperg said:
    "tolerated"

    hurts, and they reason it: because you're such a weirdo, 

    I had one conversation like that yesterday at work

    I just wanted to say, but I didn't because they would surely go 'shitsu mode':

    well thank you, that's wasn't very nice, imagine you're a weirdo to me to, and what does make you think your right is better than my? because there is more weirdos like you, than wierdos like me? do you know what's it called? Rascism

  • That’s striking a chord - could have written it myself, even the ‘little cluster’ - definitely been through a run of days like that of late. And still processing one devastating discard from two years ago that I’ll never truly get over. I think the universe is reminding me that isolation is my natural state. The partial peace of a hermit’s existence - whether I want it or not (some days Im not sure). Im not sure Ive ever sought to be controlling though, but definitely some of those other things you mentioned which come more naturally to me.