First impressions and conversation

I met a new person yesterday. This person will be joining our team at work soon, so came to introduce themselves to everyone.

Its a funny thing really, because I immediately reverted back to my usual social stance of staying silent and trying to avoid conversation with everyone. There were a few moments where I was spoken to, so couldn’t avoid responding, but in these moments I could really clearly hear my inner narration as I tried to navigate conversation with/in front of someone if not met before. It’s moment like this that really clearly highlight some of my social difficulties, but it was interesting to really notice my ‘inner script’ so vividly again.

”Don’t say that- it might be funny to you but they don’t know you yet”

”Don’t make eye contact, they might talk to you”

”Formally introduce yourself- no wait, don’t. It’s too much. in fact, it’s been too long now so you can’t possibly introduce yourself”

”You’ve gone into too much detail- stop talking” 

“You’re being too abstract/vague, give more detail”

The list goes on…

I definitely don’t feel like I made a good first impression and keep reliving the bits of conversation I was involved in, but there isn’t much that can be done about it now.

Does anyone else find first impressions challenging?

Parents
  • I always make bad first impressions.

    I suspect it goes back to my family problems, where my father made it very clear that I was the shame of the family and that I was a dark secret that must be kept hidden.  So I have very little practice at making a first or any impression.  Instead I just try to blend into the background and hope nobody knows that I even exist.

Reply
  • I always make bad first impressions.

    I suspect it goes back to my family problems, where my father made it very clear that I was the shame of the family and that I was a dark secret that must be kept hidden.  So I have very little practice at making a first or any impression.  Instead I just try to blend into the background and hope nobody knows that I even exist.

Children
  • It reminded me about a joke I make on people to trigger TFBR (The Furious Blinking Response), I think it does erase short memory so they can't remember last few minutes, their way to stay sane

    I do Obi-Wan's hand gesture when he attempt his Mind Control Trick and say: I'm invisible, you do not see me. They literally look like unsure what to choose Fight, Flight, or Freeze, while blinking furiously.

    I wear devious mask sometimes