Reading people and romantic relationships?

Actually, this is a great question. 

First though, We don't 'have' autism any more than we have 'human'. We're just a different design of human being. The majority tend to be 'wired' in their brains to create and maintain tribal connexions, while the autistic wiring appears to have a structure better suited for analytical thinking. This is just what I've found from more thought-full research over the last 100 years. And since the non-autistic (NeuroTypical) wiring is set up for strengthened connexions in the compartments responsible for language and semiotics, they tend to 'read' one another easier which accounts for their ability to 'Relate With' (the technical definition of Empathy) each other. That definition implies a desired response in Relation with. 

Now, many Autistic individuals can learn over time quite a lot of Non-Autistic communication. It doesn't mean we're great at it. But there are things which we can all aspire to, such as good principles of kindness and considerateness, things which make everyone's life a little bit better. 

Autistic wiring is such that we can accidentally see patterns. We can be incredibly sensitive and our senses (there are far more than one would think) tend to be impacted more intensely. This can be useful. But we might have stronger connexions in our brains elsewhere. We might use it with more balance between L + R, where NeuroTypicals tend to be more L brained. This said, they might not spot patterns or formulas or even danger like we might. And we might not be abreast of their fluid and organic use of language and communication.

There is this thing called the Double Empathy Problem which spells out why autistics will struggle to read non-autistics just like non-autistics will struggle to read us. However, Autistics actually read one another well, but since we're (I think) One in somewhere between 45-70, we might not run into another autistic thinker as often.

Humans fall in love for a myriad of reasons. The first is your olfactory. Tiny biological particles unseen to the naked eye exchange packets of information and alert the brain when someone suitable is present. It should create some kind of chemical response. NOW here's where it gets tricky. We may not be able to identify that chemical response, just like many of us have difficulty identifying emotions. Again, that can work in our favour if, say, we need to be impartial about a thing. Non-Autistics tend to remember emotions while Autistics tend to remember a function - what was said or what happened. It's just a different wiring, but it can make this immediate attraction difficult to recognise. NEXT. We can be attracted to what feels 'familiar' and this isn't always good. If you had an abusive parent and you meet someone similar, without recognition this familiarity isn't necessarily a good thing, you might enjoy their company simply due to a false presumption of familiarity. But, it can also be a good thing, however it's important to note that even if someone does seem 'familiar' in their mannerisms and personality, they are an entirely new human to get to know. And if they're non-autistic that will mean there could be a good deal of miscommunication. 

Love is an investment of time and generosity. It requires much of us and if both individuals seek to understand one another, are open and hold similar values (truthfulness and believing the best in each other) than misreading things can be overcome. The hardest part can be choosing to work though things without creating more problems or resentment. 

Look at this way: We're all born with a Personality Type. We can choose to use that personality for good or evil. All of us can learn to spot healthy principles and learn to recognise good boundaries. Growing character takes time. I honestly think at the end of the day, if both individuals can Give Respect and Earn Trust, they can weather anything.