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Details, memory and feedback

anon

I always struggled with memory retention for conversations. 

For example I'm abroad on holiday and working. During our Teams meeting allot expressed that they catched Covid.

Now after work I wanted to call my family, so this could be a topic of discussion (small talk), I could say what I heard and ask them how the situation is at home, if they heared if Covid is getting back among their circle or if they heard things on media. But it doesn't come forward it's like I can't retain things from my memory, I need to concentrate to be able to. I have had friends talking about their whole day detailed, so I know one should be able to if they want, and I do want. 

They say people with autism, Asperger are good with details, but then a part struggle to retain it. Look at Elon Musk he could talk high level details for hours and he is on the spectrum. While others struggle with simple things as details from an earlier conversation. 

The spectrum is broad and confusing, I'm not going to question that but I'm interested if this is a difficulty among you?

I don't think I have autism merely because I don't have any sensory problems with light or sounds, but more of some encoding problem. But then many autistics would express that they struggle with this same thing, is it other than encoding that puts a wall to the issue? 

  • in reply to Dawn

    I did an assessment DSM-5, I filled all the 3 A criteria's, but you need to have 2 B criteria's, which I didn't fill. I "might" have some B2 but I guess any normal person would have some rigid thinking patterns or be distressed from here an then: 

    1. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).

    https://www.autismspeaks.org/autism-diagnosis-criteria-dsm-5

    Then the assessment is based on questionaries, they see you for 3-4 hours and base that. I think this is impossible, as they are basing your whole life in these few hours, were many misunderstanding can erupt, both how you answer the question or how they interpreted your answers. For example I asked them to turn off the fan when I was doing the IQ test. Then they used that to corner me into the spectrum, that I mentioned fan noise. I mean you are doing an IQ test and need to concentrate 100%, who wouldn't ask the fan to be turned off, it's not like I would react to the fan normally. So take the assessment with a grain of salt.

    Your assessors should be able to tell you if the way your memory works is an autistic trait or due to something else.

    Even though they are neuropsychologist, they don't seem to be able to have the knowledge for specific questions. Felt like their job was just to focus on the assessment and judge from that, without describing what they or how they reacted on my answers or how I described myself. And this was a private modern clinic specialized in ADHD/autism ... assessments.

    Most of the time I don't think about this and function well in society, now I have stomach inflammation and this makes me anxious and I feel depressed, because of the gut brain connection, and all this makes me question myself on how I function.

    My issues are what I mentioned, small chat, socialize. I do as well get depressed when doing high cognitive things, like playing chess, painting, translating, writing a novel. This last for 2 days before I get back to normality. It's like my brain is not made for high cognitive thinking, and I think this is connected with how I function. I don't know why it manifests like itself like this. But it makes me feel different.

  • Are you just exploring the possibility that you are autistic then? And yep! The memory thing can swing both ways. Some instances from my childhood are seared into my brain like a branding iron and the recall is visceral. If we are talking about my special interests, I know a lot and can give you all the detail.

    But, oddly, there can be memory processing problems in tandum with this. Life's trivia will go in one ear and out the other and I'd never get through the day's to do list without writing it all down. There isn't room in my head to retain stuff of no import to me and I can't process lots of facts at one, I have learn and internalise and memorize one at a time, so no. I don't do a good job of that type of small talk either. Some autistic people, on the other hand, have eidectic memories. I wish I did.

    Some memory processing problems also go with other forms of neurodivergence; dyslexia, say. And I am dyslexic as well as autistic.

    If you are waiting for an assessment, I'd raise the above as an example. Your assessors should be able to tell you if the way your memory works is an autistic trait or due to something else.

  • in reply to Lee

    I can relate allot with what you are saying. I'm good with planning myself, and see details for example in technical things. My client is the most social person, he can talk for hours, joke, make people feel comfortable, and understand a personality really easy. But in front of a PC he just freezes, he stops seeing details and alternative solutions, for really easy things. Something I don't have any issues with.

    I do as well enjoy a good movie. I can follow it, I do understand jokes and can laugh, but I don't understand the underlaying factors. I don't understand the characters intentions. I would really struggle if asked to describe what really happened in a scene and what was the reason. I would struggle to summarize the movie, or recall specific instances from a scene.

    Why do you think we are like this? Genetic/env. factors? I know my grandfather did remind me a bit of myself, but then, his mom died when he was born, so his life was completely different, and we all form differently as fetuses. The other thing we are all exposed to are vaccines. Do you think they could have an impact on us? Watching Vaxxed Stories on YouTube, I see moms telling stories about how much their child changed after a vaccine, but those are significantly damaged children, that stopped speaking or started making noises and OCD behavior. But sure a vaccine can probably do minor damage. I don't know I'm really feeling down that I'm like this, and I can't find an explanation for it. I have even done a SPECT blood flow scan that showed normal blood flow in my brain regions, a CT that showed a normal brain, no damage, no blood clots that could be from a injury of falling when being a child or anything similar.

    I just don't get it, my mom is very social and bright, my father/brother doesn't talk that like my mom but they don't have the issues I have, and many normal people don't talk much, but they are not considered autistic. I really have the drive like my mom to socialize and laugh as my personality leans towards her, but I can't, something is hindering me, and it just breaks me.

    Another thing, I can't understand how bright some people can be, building technical machines, solutions, and I can't even understand or recall a conversation  but still function and act just as normal as them.

  • I am a high detail/process/planning person, but struggle a lot with basic recall/memory...

    E.g I really enjoy reading a book or watching a film in the moment, but could not tell you much (or anything in detail) about what hapoened, even just after finishing them.

    Also when trying to have conversations, I really struggle to remember any anecdotes/events in any kind of detail/can not expand.. This adds to basic social anxiety for me/makes me avoid time with others...

    I do see people describing a whole range of symptoms on the spectrum. Can find some similarities with others, bot sldo differences. Complex...