I have steered clear of even attempting to 'date' or enter a relationship since a bad break up 15 years ago - this happened during a period were I had multiple family bereavements, and my only real 'friend' also passed away unexpectedly. Subsequent bouts of depression on top of my autistics traits/social awkwardness plus need for 'me' time, mean I became extremely isolated.
Only very recently have I started to spend occasional time with other people via meetup groups, and those are very much 'activity' focused, rather that sitting around chatting/socialising in the traditional way (which I have always been very bad at, even though fairly intelligent and able to deal with people on functional work topics), I am also only now very belatedly progressing my formal assessment, plus therapy and meds for my long term mental health issues.
I only ever had 3 semi - serious relationships with girls (who initiated those relationships rather than me), as I avoided dating altogether, or dated girls I didn't really like/care about - as it didn't matter so much when it was awful/failed. And I always tried to 'manage' dates to ensure they involved activities/watching events to reduce time sat around in free flowing conversation.
Am wondering what experience anyone here has of trying to date if they are often socially awkward/quiet/struggle with making real life conversation - e.g. using dating apps like 'Hiki' that are allegedly for ND community?
Has anyone had any positive experiences/tips using these (or bad experiences/tips)? Or other ways to find partners? How have they managed dates - finding people who either have the same kind of traits, or are willing/able to put up with these social behaviours?
I don't feel ready to to do this yet, but am wondering if I might try again in the future, something beyond a long distance/online relationship -would like to hear any experiences/tips from people with similar socially awkward symptoms.
