Age 47 Diagnosis

Hi,

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, my psychologist recommended Neurotribes by Steve Silberman to read. It was a long book, and spent more time talking about what autism isn't than what it is, but it appealed to my love of science and history.

Anyway, I mention it because I felt like you too. However, after reading it, I was glad I wasn't diagnosed as a child. Yes, if I had been a child today, I would hope to be diagnosed, but being diagnosed in the late 70s would have been very bad for us. Autism has been very severely misunderstood throughout history - and there are still real issues with diagnosis today (but it's got a lot better). The treatment of autistic people has been horrific (including sending to the gas chambers, institutionalisation, forced sterilization, etc.). None of that is right, but it was reality (and too often the discrimination is still too real).

Maybe it will also help you to let go of the anger at least - it did help me. I can't promise it will help you stop being angry as you come to grasp the situation for autistic people today though.  I am lucky in that I already held several influential NED roles in education and supported programmes for early ASD diagnosis (e.g. through the Opportunity Areas) and mental health support. In the last month, I have redoubled my efforts to challenge misconceptions of what Autism is, and what support we need (even though I'm only learning about it myself)! That has helped me feel like I'm at least doing something.

Ironically though, I'm still struggling to find support to help me cope with such a life-changing event!

I hadn't considered that there may be link workers.  I've basically been left to fend for myself since we hung up the Zoom call that was my consultation!

Totally get this feeling, I'm still going through those same feelings having been diagnosed at 50.  I need to know *everything*.  I feel like my entire identity, the person I thought I was, just stripped away from me.

I completely agree with what you have said but you are not alone I was diagnosed with higher functioning autism last year and I was 56 years old (57 now) and I had many of the feelings you are having but don't worry a lot of those feelings lessen. They don't completely go away but it allows you to see the problems you have been having all your life and why they happened which allows you to accept it and rectify it the best way you can.

Something you should look into is getting in touch with the organisation that dealt with you diagnosis and ask if there are any link workers that can help you. I don't know where you are from but I live in North Tyneside and I have access to a link worker that I have talked about my problems I've had. I haven't seen her for a while but just today I sent her an email as I am still having problems

I find writing posts on this forum can help too. Me writing this is helping me overcome the stresses I am having at the moment. 

If you can I would do whatever you can to give yourself time to process this in the most gentle way meaning get support from friends and or family that you trust. Also try to remeber that autism is not a big banner that means everyone is the same and has same issues etc is why it is a spectrum .There are radical differences from one person to the next, find the positives of what you can do and when you are exploring about autism to find out about your diagnosis don't get down about it...there will be somethings you can do that maybe another can not. Focus in on the things you can do to gain satisfaction from. It's very hard to comment as I do not know you that well. Wishing you luck and know there is lots of support for you on here :)

Ditto my son diagnosed at 18 and tbh people say even being diagnosed at 3 yr old is a  travesty etc and yeah nhs useless sorry but is ture.

I am awaiting my assessment at 49, having masked until my mid 20s, then simply closed myself off/isolated for decades. All in an effort to avoid my anxieties, and others witnessing some of my more obvious symptoms.

Only this year did I finally share my real experiences and symptoms with my GP plus a therapist, and also began to realize other people out there have similar lives 

That is helping greatly, and any diagnosis I am sure will at least bring peace of mind - along with knowing you are part of a large community who share similarities with you..

Yay! that's amazing news. 

47! I was annoyed about 16 years!

How are you feeling now? and welcome home

Hi there,

I know just how you feel, I was diagnosed at 67... Yes, that's right... 67!

I felt all the emotions you are now feeling, especialy 'cheated'. I had been let down by the NHS MH teams many times, always being diagnosed with anxiety disorders. Life had indeed been difficult.

I have now read a number of books on ASD and met and talked to many others in my position. It seems that it is not at all unusual to receive a late diagnosis.

Getting assessed was the best thing I ever did.

Give yourself time and carry on with your research. I found quite a few e-books at affordable prices on an internet shopping site (you know which one, I'm sure.)  Some of the best  were written by fellow autists.

Onwards and upwards, eh!

Ben

Yes Purple Ella is fab

It may feel like a torrent of emotions, totally get that, but congratulations. Now you have the key to the door to making life better.

Was the diagnosis a total shock, did you know they were specifically looking for that? 

And although I worked out myself and then sought a diagnosis, I can remember that feeling of being initially stunned too. And yes, how in God's name had I got to 56 and never known? 

I intend to make up for lost time now though. This site can answer many if your questions, as can the community. We'll help :-)

Hi, I just wanted you to know that It’s completely ok to feel these emotions and it’s ok to take your time in learning about Autism and what it means for you. You’re not alone and the community is here to support you if there’s anything we / I can do to help you on your journey to self discovery. I recommend following some good Autistic creators on TikTok and Instagram such as @Purpleella&co this helped me understand so much more, although it can get very overwhelming at times especially when Autism becomes a special interest, so please take it at your own pace and give your self time to process. 

I’m Lola if there’s anything you’d like to chat about anytime or any advice I can provide  Take Care and my very best wishes on your journey x