Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi folks
Having had autism (strongly) and a side of ADHD show in a recent screening I’m split about whether to tell people, particularly at work.
I always thought other people were a bit boring, and that I just knew my own mind and what I liked/didn’t. Now it turns out it’s me who’s not ‘normal’.
Everything makes much more sense since the screening, but in many cases, I’ve masked this so effectively and for so long that I think many people will just doubt the screening result. Of the two people I told (by accident) when I’d done some online tests that showed autism, both their responses were a straight ‘no you aren’t.’
There are adjustments at work (opting out of social events and decreasing stimulus such heat/noise in the office) that would help, but I’m also wary of people giving me a label and that holding back my career.
What experience do others have of this situation?
Thanks for your time.
I couldn’t help but tell them after keeping the diagnosis a secret for a few months. My manager was fine, and hasn’t treated me any different really. He said he thinks I do a brilliant job and shares some similarities with me when I mentioned some of my deficits. (My diagnosis for him would be dyslexia and adhd.)
Others have been fine. Some don’t care, some aren’t sure what ASD actually is, and some are indifferent. All in all, I feel more relaxed being me while I’m there. I’ve only mentioned it when the situation arises.I’ve mentioned one thing about preferring to do my job role and how I don’t like being moved to different areas (unless they are short staffed) and not to let anyone do my job while I’m on holiday or whatever, as they aren’t as thorough as I don’t want my system messed up lol.
I can opt for workplace adjustments, but for now, they aren’t necessary.
Same. I have said to those in my department, and to my tiny number of friends, plus family of course. I'm claiming it as part of my identity. I've had zero surprise or negativity from most, though I work in a progressive enough work environment culturally that it maybe is softer in that regard than ones in which less enlightened thoughts might prevail. Also, I think it helps that neurodivergence of various kinds takes refuge in my sort of career, so the concentration of judgemental 'normies' and extroverts is somewhat less overwhelming than in other industries and workplaces.
Interesting that you should mention career progression. One big reason I did say in work was for the opposite reason: explainng why seeking to 'ascend' would probably be a bad move for me - that continuity, not change, at a grade I can more easily manage stress/burnout, was my sesnisible path. Scaffolding, not stagnancy. While it wasn't essential that I said so, it took some sense of pressure (real or imagined) out of the equation for me.
Truly knowing one's limits, and owning that, is such a healthy thing. I'm getting better about not caring about imagined judgement from others too. I still have wobbly moments in that regard, but see them for what they are.
Same! It's great to voluntarily offer that additional context to people who hopefully weren't openly judging you for it anyway, just trying to do the NT-normative thing of encouragement to the 'logical' next step. Disastrous step, in my case, so to be able to be an open book on that without shame (and while still recognising that even an NT person shouldn't feel obligated to take on more pressure or an ill-fitting role) seems the healthiest and most societally progressive approach.
I’ve found that when new people enter the business, they tend to gravitate to me, and see the potential, and offer words of encouragement to move forwards, join cohorts for career progression etc, especially after hearing I ran my own business for 13 years prior.
However, I’ve always declined, blaming it on family commitments and not wanting so much stress in my life again. Now that I’m diagnosed, I would simply be explaining how this career direction would actually hinder me instead of empower me. I know my limits.