Headbanging

"because it is new information, stick it into a memory network in my brain and reassess the whole universe"

hahahahhaahahhahha. so true. so true. THE **WHOLE** UNIVERSE...and then you're like...but what do i even mean by "the universe"...let's start from there!...no serious, guys!!!...and everyone else walks away and seven years later you're still thinking...

...or, say you get upset about something and you "can't see" why you're so upset...all you can "see" is that a fragment of your "lattice-scape" has been dislodged and now "REALITY" starts to melt away (because you've just realised that you're in the real-life Matrix) and you've got nothing to hold on to...and it turns out that all that's happened is the cat's died...which, once in perspective, is a M-A-S-S-I-V-E relief.  oh, i get it...hahah.

Thanks guys - I've so many many stories I could tell. Most people do a few "out there" things in their life but I f***ing live (way, way beyond) "out there" ALL MY LIFE!!!  I recently found one of the diaries of the ideas I would keep about the things I was interested in and I couldn't believe what I was thinking...the intense creative fervour was like that of a madman (maybe John Nash without the other mental health problems)...my father has just found out about this "problem” and the first thing he said was (and this is a man who sat more than double the number of exams most kids sit in a sitting...straight-A...public-school-type education...more than several languages mastered at high school...with a "hot-house" focus on him as the brightest kid: "oh, that's why you could beat me at chess age four!". 

So so funny...and then I'm so confused about why I can't stand on the table in a restaurant (thinking to myself...but why not? It’s so arbitrary...let's give it a go and find out why...)…so I conduct a "phenomenological experiment" (you get me?!?!)..only to find out that you're not supposed to do that...right? 

...genius or retard? You tell me...?

 ...funny thing...I thought I was stupid because everyone looked at me as a moron (I would be so gauche and maladroit and would always be thinking so hard about why this shadow is here and not there...or whether it was impolite to tie my shoelaces in front of someone as they talked)...and then when professor bigwig couldn't answer my barrage of "super intellectual" questions I thought that he was even stupider than me...so I’d tell him right to his face, in no uncertain terms, and in very great and specific detail, why this was the case (in a super-polite and restrained manner, of course) ...which made things worse...never went down well...and then I would blow a fuse and run away from civilisation to scream in a forest, where no one could see or hear me (before legging it from the farmer..."nuns on the run" type stuff...ROBBIE COLTRANE!! ROBBIE COLTRANE!!  can you hear the music!?!?!?)...I thought that it was the stupidest teaching the stupid...turns out I’m a genius who can't open a door without thinking about a "strategy for smiling"...

...first thing my mum said, "is there a dating site for these people"? haha. well?! is there...mind you, she would have to live at the other side of town...and sex...a three hour philosophical conversation about the topology of the condom

Aspergers is high cognitive learning, low emotional coping,, on the mild end of autism spectrum, more social communication issues,, where as lower end autism is low cognitive learning and low emotional coping. In a way there is no such thing as aspergers just autism spectrum. The condition brings many different issues to everyone on the spectrum. HIGH FUNCTIONING IS A RELATIVE TERM comparison "ON" the autism spectrum,, basically have still one leg were as on the other foot, the others side of the spectrum they have no legs whereas the nts have two legs on the ground.

Having aspergers myself,, I feel that we are using the cognitive side of our brains(hence IQ increases over time) to cope with the social emotional aspect of the brain, hence we find it hard in fast moving social environments and get anxiety.

My doctors says my higher order thinking comes about depending on my stress levels in the social environment.

I work in my allotment this grounds me into nature(I love flowers, shapes and colour) and takes my(the) mind of esoterical metaphysical dimension thinking expansion(an open mind, that is too open).  

I spend my life in introvert silence, talking but not connecting with the world, because I think to deep and in too much detail and about angles which no one is interested in apart from agencies.

 765daisyflower hope pretty much summed it all up in her post,, loved your story about uni and the nuthouse and also peer to peer doc dialogue at natural eye level. You are with peers here,WELCOME.

Autodidactic adventures, I am still laughing at that statement... it sums up our aspergers condition..  So I am not the only person in world so can read up on anything regardless of subject,, just to learn about it,, because it is new information, stick it into a memory network in my brain and reassess the whole universe. And then when you try to share the information to the world, they try to harm you, as it goes against there egotistical existance and dogma.

Thanks. 

I spent years "touring" university departments on autodidactic adventures. I would learn on my own, break into libraries to read at night, and all sorts of other crazy things. In the end I went to university and received some of the highest marks in the history of the university, and then, finally, after years of constraint, I told more than a few Professors where to shove the research scholarships I was awarded: right up their moronic sycophantic arses! I just about ended up on the street when I took myself to the nuthouse, where I annoyed everyone...then a psychiatrist visited me at home in a "family friend-of-a-friend" kind of way, because I wouldn't speak to anyone professionally. I'm just realising how strange I am...

''High functioning'' is a term that arguably exists to distinguish people with Aspergers from the  'classic' variety of autism: no language, no insight, severe learning disabilities, limited independence. So if you are ''high functioning'' you might have gone to University, be able to live more or less independently, can hold intelligent conversations, and have insight into your condition; you can probably camouflage your traits and control yourself reasonably well in public.

However, the term ''high functioning'' is very woolly and vague - it does not mean much other than distinguishing one type of autism from another. It seems to me that Aspergers is classic autism's poorer relation: we are always defined in relation to it but rarely as a group of people with specific needs in our own right; different needs but just as disabling. We are not comparing like with like (a poor but useful analogy might be to compare Bipolar depression with Psychosis and to say that people with the former are more 'high functioning' and therefore less disabled).

My guess is that due to your intelligence you are able to 'pass as normal', and you obviously have a lot of insight into your condition. I am similar: I have  an above average verbal IQ and have attained a 2.1 History degree, but I still need a lot of support every day in order to function, and if this support were taken away, I don't think I would function well at all!. 'High functioning' can be a very deceptive  label.