I need to restart everything

im in the process of that to be honest, a lot of patience is involved, sadly, it need not have come to this, but, it is what it is i suppose

i mean, ive completely wiped contact with those i share genetics and nothing else with, ive flip, a lot has happened, i wish it never did, i wont go into as:

1: it may be "triggering"

and 2: just apprehensive about putting it out there and getting no response etc as has been the general rule for me.

but, its hard, its lonely, its a lot of things

but, its something you can only do your best to push through, and just keep trying with.

theres times it all seems pointless, theres times where theres a little glimmer of hope

theres times that glimmer fades, and theres times you find it again

its a matter of just pushing through, trying to do your best to take it a step at a time, stay ",in the moment" and just try to get on with things

its just another process, so much has happened within just over 3 months, that it feels like far longer

and yeah, i may not be ok with my current situation, but, everything is only temporary, both good and bad.

i hope that made sense and helps in some way.