Question if my history of lack theory of mind contributed to delusional thoughts

I wondered if my history of lack of theory of mind contributed to delusional thoughts.

The first delusion and and second delusions I had throughout my childhood and adolescence until the age of 16. 

Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I had a delusion that no one has a face, because I couldn't read facial expressions on time, and my second delusion was that some people were plotting against me, and sometimes became scared and violent when my routine changed, and it made my former prosecutory delusions worse, as I misread people's intentions, due to my history of lack of theory of mind.

  • It sounds like it could be good to explore your imagination. Many of us are hyperphantic and have very vivid internal vision. Coupled with misunderstanding and language difficulty, assigning images to words or not getting the information we need to understand a thing correctly can lead to misinterpretations. 

    By nature we desire dependability and grounding. From some research, I’ve heard this has to do with our Gamma waves. And we also experience a more hostile environment. Put all these together and you’re not wrong or delusional. You may be trying to find a way to create congruity within your understanding of the world. 

    Still, it doesn’t sound easy. X

  • That's relatable, if you have no theory of mind for someone else and therefore you implanted plots against you into their minds because that's how YOU thought they were thinking, of course you are going to have delusional thoughts.  I guess for me this is expressed when I first discovered I'm autistic and I had delusional thoughts that everyone else would be excited and support me, then it was a surprise when I ended up upsetting everyone around me by adopting my autistic authenticity.  The theory of mind switched to "everyone hates me everyone hates autistic people I am therefore worthless" and my life switched from a position of pride to a position of fear.  And what's the point in living if everyone hates me?  

    Is that what you mean?

    I'm not sure about the faces thing, I imagine it looking like Neo when Smith makes his mouth seal up (which is a sensory sad to think about) but I do certainly have an aspect of face blindness where I forget if I know someone especially out of the context in which I am supposed to know them.