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Partner in denial

NAS80589

My 2 1/2 year old son is going through ASD assessment because I brought my concerns to the attention of our health visitor. This has lead me to realise that all the confusion I've been experiencing relating to his father (over a ten year relationship) his strange withdrawals, his rigidity, awkward social interactions, lack of spontaneity and imagination - loads of other things including different kinds of stimming - all probably originate from autism.

I feel betrayed. My partner states very absolutely that this is all in my head and I am completely wrong about him being autistic. I am completely devastated, I feel like I'm in a parallel universe to this man. I have been so honest all of out 10 years together. Are there some autistic people who will never be able to recognise that the masking isn't the real them? I have literally come to hate him.  

  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    Thank you. I really hope you're right...but truely my gut tells me the survival of his ego depends on him maintaining the facade. Or else he can't tell the difference - I'll find out I guess... 

  • Some autistic people really struggle to come to the realisation as they’ve gone through life thinking they’re the only “normal” one and there’s something wrong with everyone else so to have that completely challenged can be quite shocking and met with resistance. Others have a lightbulb go on in their head as an explanation for their struggles. It does also depend on how he sees autism, there are (incorrect) stereotypes which he may not identify with. Hopefully as you go through the assessment process with your son he can learn more about the spectrum then maybe he will identify more with it. If this has all come about very quickly he may just need a bit of time to get his head around everything, the changes involved in having your son assessed and the changes in thinking about how/who he is himself