I just got diagnosed with mild autism level 1 at the age of 41. With the three A criteria, difficulties with eye contact, small talk and forming/maintaining relationships. But I'm not sure if this is autism or something similar? EDIT: As well, to be diagnosed with autism, you need to fulfil two B cafeterias. I got misdiagnosed on those, as both I, and they misinterpreted what I actually meant answering the questions, upon a second review.
Short story, I noticed that I couldn't socialize like others at the age of 12-13, at this age girls got more interested in you and at the age of 13 I started high school, so there was no ball plays on the breaktime, but you had to sit and socialize with your peers. I never felt different in any other way, more or less much normal than the average Joe. Instead, I had just difficulties with people that didn't talk so much (girls that were interested in you), and I used to be with friends with those that talked allot, and had difficulties with less talkative people, as I couldn't own the conversation, so it was quieter in a sense.
Situations related to my difficulties
1. At the age of 5, out with my father at the mall, my father stopped for a chat with his friends, and those friends could ask me if they could have a candy of mine. I always reached out, but they then said, no, thanks. I guess they did it just to be friendly, a way to introduce themselves, see how I reacted. Likewise, I always remember after I minute, I told my dad, I should have joked back and told them this. The problem was I could never do it at the moment, like my brain froze. I was aware that I couldn't but at this age I was too young to understand if something was wrong with me.
2. Age 10-11, the teacher read fiction on a Friday, and on a Monday she asked us around about the story. I had a hard time following, basically the info didn't get into my head. Monday when the teacher asked, lots of pupils could relate and talk about the book reading, I couldn't. I never had any issues with concentration or hyperactivity, on the contrary, I'm very calm, but the story didn't get into my mind.
3. At high school, I avoided lots of potential relationships because I knew I would be very quiet, not knowing what to say. I saw my friends being very open and talkative, but I couldn't, no matter how much I tried. I was absolutely not shy.
4. Hard to talk about what I have done during the day, if someone asks, even though lots of things has happened, I have difficulties explaining it. Hard to ask questions about what someone has just done, like I don't know where to begin. If I watch a film, I feel like lots of info is just passing by, not being encoded in my mind, like I hear and watch, but really don't see what is going on. I feel most people form a story A and expect B. And they know what to expect from B. When they chat with someone they already know the answer of B, but they want to hear it, explore the answer, and if it's not as they expected B to be, they will ask questions, this way the small talk and explore the other person. I don't see it like this. When I ask someone something, I really don't know why I asked that question, and not another. I don't have a strategy to go from A to B, I feel empty.
Scenarios
1. If I look at a picture for example, my brain freeze, it doesn't really see the picture, what is in the picture? For example, I looked at one picture, on the left side the girl was happy, on the other side of the picture she was crying. I don't do an analysis of what I see. I asked my friend, he said the first that came up to his mind, is that the girl was out, and on the same night she was dumped by her boyfriend. It doesn't have to be the correct answer, but the least he sees something related to how he sees the world. I don't. I had to read the article. It was about Instagram, the pic on the left was an Instagram picture, but the pic on the right was how she really felt that month. Meaning, she portrays a wrong image and probably want to say that this is common on Instagram. I mean, I know this, it's in my knowledge, but I don't do the analysis. I didn't have to do the Instagram analogy, but as my friend I should have some answer, which I don't.
