• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 1197 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Coping with Autistic Partner

NAS80383

Oh dear. I asked my partner to press a button to start the timer when the eggs started to boil. Instead, what he did was remove the eggs from the boil and not start the timer. I feel that I cannot rely upon him for anything and he's a noose around my neck.

  • in reply to NAS65321

    Thank you so much for sharing this also. Yes, he was panicked about the task, probably because I have a go at him when he does these things. It's self perpetuating. Thank you for giving me an example of the meeting at the supermarket to do some shopping. 

    I also have mental health problems which can make us a good team, but at this moment, the burden of life is all on me. He won't learn to drive so I take him to work and collect him as I wouldn't see him if he got 3 buses. He payed his student loan off when he is already in loads of debt and he doesn't earn anywhere near enough to Have to pay it back, merely because he got stuck deferring it when a different company took over the student loan. He has skin cancer and he couldn't even ring the Dr. I had to ring 38 times to get through on his behalf.  The carcinoma surgery is tomorrow.  He can't live in an adult world. 

    Thank you for caring and being so supportive. I hope that you have peace with your wife 

  • in reply to Martin

    Thank you for sharing your experiences.  Yes, his longterm memory is supreme, but he struggles with his working memory. I'd only popped to the loo lol. 

  • Hi was your partner being distracted by something else, was he stressed or anxious? I get thrown out by totally simple request from my wife. Like we are going to do the weekly shop tonight and she sugggested we meet at the shop about a hour ago. That totally threw me and I said no plan A was her to come home first and pick me up. That may seem a simple change but it really throws me when I have in my head what I am going to do. It is not easy living with somebody with ASD but it can be managed.. 

  • I'm autistic and a good cook, but I prefer one- or two-pot cooking, as I do not multi-task very well. I would not care to cook a roast dinner, but I'm fine with paella, biryani, coq-au-vin, various pasta dishes, fish, bouillabaisse and even things like steamed squid, stuffed with minced prawns. What I need are detailed recipes. Had you written your egg boiling instructions down, there would have been no room for error. Unfortunately, though long-term memory is often well above average in autistic people, our short-term 'working' memory is often woeful. 

    We have a notepad attached to the fridge-freezer and I use it to write reminders for myself, as does my wife.

  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    Bless you. Thank you for that great encouragement and support, and indeed wise advice. Im so grateful. Thinking of you too

  • Sometimes it’s hard to follow verbal instructions, especially if there is more than one thing to do. I understand your frustrations, I’m the “least affected” ND person in my household and just about everything falls to me at home even though I work nearly full time. It can be really overwhelming. I know ND adults who have chore charts similar to the boards for helping children follow their morning and evening routines. Maybe that might help him pull his weight a bit more of he has a visual guide to follow?