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Disillusionment

Deleted User

I never expected major, concrete changes as a result of being diagnosed. That's because too much irreversible damage had been  done in the 45 years between first seeing a pdoc and getting the Asperger's/ASD dx. I had hoped though to  have  a better sense of belonging. That I wouldn't just be the person on the outside looking in.

Unfortunately that hasn't been the case.Autism forums are dominated by  'I can't believe he/she is autistic' types and parents of severely disabled children. There is little room for people like me within such online communities.  Whilst not needing round the clock care I'm also not as self sufficient as the often highly vocal 'I can't believe he/she is autistic' types.

The recent exchange of words here has really hammered that home for me. I'm a 65 year old widower, who has no friends and has never had a paid job. I'm supposed to have a care act review every year, but since Covid  that hasn't been the case. My stepdaughter agreed to be officially recognised as a carer by social services. I'm lucky in that she has worked in the caring profession for over 25 years covering a wide range of disabilities and needs.

My day is go online, eat and drink, maybe watch a bit of TV. Repeat again and again...... .As posted in another thread that's been looked at, but not responded to(par for the course) I've not been out of my 1st floor flat since coming home from the physical rehab unit. Indeed what with lower back pain, then Covid and the falls last October- I've not been out for a casual walk for over 2 years.

Parents

  • Have you considered getting a mobility scooter? If you simply can’t walk far why not drive one of those little scooters? If that’s an option?

    also have you considered gaming? Specifically online gaming? You can actually make friends online by playing net games with people. Then join their discord servers to continue chatting to them after the game is over? Think it over there are lots of different kinds of games. fighting game, puzzle games, strategy games. One might suit you.

Reply

  • Have you considered getting a mobility scooter? If you simply can’t walk far why not drive one of those little scooters? If that’s an option?

    also have you considered gaming? Specifically online gaming? You can actually make friends online by playing net games with people. Then join their discord servers to continue chatting to them after the game is over? Think it over there are lots of different kinds of games. fighting game, puzzle games, strategy games. One might suit you.

Children
  • in reply to Peter

    Thanks for taking the time to reply. The last online game I played was scrabble via the Internet scrabble club . I stopped playing when an opponent wanted to know more about me. I was reasonably good at it, but not a fanatical  'swallow a list of useful scrabble words while having my breakfast' type of player. 

    I do have people I interact with via Facebook and Twitter, but F2F it's strictly my stepfamily  that I interact with. I am  quite asocial, but have tried several times to interact with others. They've been,to varying degrees, failures. The last attempt was a group  run by a self proclaimed 'radical social worker' . I didn't say much as I struggle to initiate conversations I did respond to some things only to be met with a deafening silence. The others there were getting on fine with each other. To make things worse the 'radical social worker' mocked me over my paying towards my refreshment, although I paid the same as a woman 5 or so minutes before me had paid. She hadn't been mocked.

    Disturbingly I find out not long after that he had been kicked out of the Labour party for hardcore anti-Semitism.

    A mobile scooter would be out of the question given the difficulties I have. A walker with a seat would be a better choice. I need to get  downstairs before I can do that. I managed to get up the stairs when I came from the physical rehab unit, but have not tried walking down them.

    The rehab unit had practice stairs , but the stairs there were less steep and the steps less narrow. My stepdaughter  has said she would never forgive herself if I fell downstairs because I hadn't been checked to see if I was safe going down them. Going down the stairs has always been harder for me than going up them.