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Asd person looking for advice to help Asd partner.

NAS80355

Hi everyone,

My name if Ferne, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and got a surprise ASD diagnosis at the same time. My boyfriend was diagnosed with Asperges when he was young and attended the local additional needs school which helped him alot socially.

I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and we get along like a house on fire but I'm looking for some advice on how to help him deal with change.

He's struggled before when his family members moved house or lockdown meant he couldn't go to work. He's always dealt with these things reasonably well, some confusion, emotion kicks in and he'll be unsettled for a bit but mostly the issue has been the effect on his Crohns disease as stress and anxiety give him flare ups.

This time though two of his friends are moving away and he's taking it so hard, I don't know what to do to help him! He found out today and hes been able to identify it as the reason hes feeling emotional and tender as he felt this low mood kick in as soon as he found out. But aside from talking it through and helping him to identify his feelings, I'm really lost.

Does anyone have any advice on how to help an adult asd guy work through this?

Thanks for taking the time to read all of my babbling btw.

Parents

  • Hello Ferne

    Imho the saying very little to the degree very little can be understood, progress made, & with litanies of mistakes ensuing like speaking with someone at the call centre is itself a mental illness so don't worry. The WWW came along, & i tend to feel this tight lipped mania started with corporations, who put in place a strict brevity doctrines to stop everyone talking. Thus wasting their already eye watering profits. Well that and it being a part of the sociological operating system otherwise known as PC where officers feel its best to say little @ say, the LA for fear of incriminating themselves..

    If he is affected that much, there might not be a decent alternative to ( just for instance ) a form of CBT, perhaps customised to help him deal with inevitable irony in life. Things do change, things do move on, we cannot know what alterations people might need to make to lifestyle and so on. Not specifically CBT, nor those outlines in the face of something else worthwhile. But it does seem that an adaptation to a coping mindset that can deal with the inevitable is needed. Or else things will continue to change & presumably they'll be existential crisis ( by the sound of it )

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  • Hello Ferne

    Imho the saying very little to the degree very little can be understood, progress made, & with litanies of mistakes ensuing like speaking with someone at the call centre is itself a mental illness so don't worry. The WWW came along, & i tend to feel this tight lipped mania started with corporations, who put in place a strict brevity doctrines to stop everyone talking. Thus wasting their already eye watering profits. Well that and it being a part of the sociological operating system otherwise known as PC where officers feel its best to say little @ say, the LA for fear of incriminating themselves..

    If he is affected that much, there might not be a decent alternative to ( just for instance ) a form of CBT, perhaps customised to help him deal with inevitable irony in life. Things do change, things do move on, we cannot know what alterations people might need to make to lifestyle and so on. Not specifically CBT, nor those outlines in the face of something else worthwhile. But it does seem that an adaptation to a coping mindset that can deal with the inevitable is needed. Or else things will continue to change & presumably they'll be existential crisis ( by the sound of it )

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