• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 79 subscribers
  • Views 3739 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

communication

abloner

I usually lose any control of myself if I plunge in a conversation with somebody. Some short exchanges are structurally short lived (like with a shopkeeper, or if you ask an information to a passerby in the street). But if the conversation has some consistence and durance I lose completely control and I need often a long time to reconstruct the bubble in which I live (in which I only may live). One technique I employ with some success is to devote myself to solitaries for some time after quitting the exchange. As solitaries (free cell for example) engage the left hemisphere only, I hypothesize that engaging the left hemisphere I may put the right one at work to rebuild my emotional bubble. I may suggest that this is one reason for which people in the autistic spectrum tend to “lecture” others. Lecturing others about some subject you think you know well avoids dialogue and maintains your false “integrity”.

Parents

  • If I cannot decipher the Other’s intentions, I cannot have friends. If I cannot “read” Other, how can I know what Other means when talking to me? Words, sentences, judgments expressed to me are acts, have a pragmatic value, are charged, possess intentionality. “Good evening” does not mean that Other augurs you to spend merrily my time for the rest of the day. This should be obvious. If Other wanted me to end up in hospital for a fall (this may well be sometimes), he wouldn’t tell me that straight away. The real meaning of “good evening” may be that,for now, he/she considers me an acceptable member of the humanity known to him/her. To really know something more relevant I should analyze the tone he uses, his body language, smile, kind of smile (is it a sincere smile or just cold conventional?). Most people don’t need to do these analysis for two reasons 1) they have an instinctive capability to read the other speech-acts. 2) they don’t have the need (that I have) to be assured of Other’s sympathy. So life is an ordeal for me and many others  like me. In the elevator I meet sometime  a lady who, if I greet her, doesn't return my greeting. So I stopped greeting her, but generally I avoid the elevator when I see her. If I don't succeed in this the 45 seconds of an hostile look at me is a horrible experience.

Reply

  • If I cannot decipher the Other’s intentions, I cannot have friends. If I cannot “read” Other, how can I know what Other means when talking to me? Words, sentences, judgments expressed to me are acts, have a pragmatic value, are charged, possess intentionality. “Good evening” does not mean that Other augurs you to spend merrily my time for the rest of the day. This should be obvious. If Other wanted me to end up in hospital for a fall (this may well be sometimes), he wouldn’t tell me that straight away. The real meaning of “good evening” may be that,for now, he/she considers me an acceptable member of the humanity known to him/her. To really know something more relevant I should analyze the tone he uses, his body language, smile, kind of smile (is it a sincere smile or just cold conventional?). Most people don’t need to do these analysis for two reasons 1) they have an instinctive capability to read the other speech-acts. 2) they don’t have the need (that I have) to be assured of Other’s sympathy. So life is an ordeal for me and many others  like me. In the elevator I meet sometime  a lady who, if I greet her, doesn't return my greeting. So I stopped greeting her, but generally I avoid the elevator when I see her. If I don't succeed in this the 45 seconds of an hostile look at me is a horrible experience.

Children
No Data