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New puppy - can't cope with the change

NAS80069

Hello,

My wife is incredibly struggling with the new puppy we got roughly 4 weeks ago. It is important to say that she also suffers from OCD.

This has brought on a lot of anxiety which has made home feel like torture to be here. There isn't a particular thing about the puppy that is causing it that I know of but some things she has said are the noise of the whine and bark they make, the responsibility that comes with the dog (I have taken on all duties and training to try to relieve any pressure) and worry that the dog will have separation anxiety. 

She has a therapist that she has seen twice over the past couple of weeks and yesterday she advised my wife to start on anti-depressants but due to a really bad experience on them about 4 years ago she does not want to take them which I completely understand.

The problem is that she is now avoiding the situation and has 2 days last week stayed at her mums and 2 days (today being the second so could end up being more) .

I feel incredibly stuck right now and I just don't know how to help her move forward from this. It will of course be upsetting to see the dog be rehomed but we cannot have the situation where she isn't living in the same house as me and my son.

This brings another issue that she isn't comfortable rehoming the dog and trying to get any answers is hard as her mind is so clouded.

I would really appreciate any advice from anyone as I am struggling.

Thank you,
Matt

  • If you want a pet cats are more autistic friendly, and a lot more quiet. Among dogs, i'm not really familiar with many, but staffy buldogs aresuper quiet and obediant, whining quietly at times to beg for treats or cuddles

  • To find the right antidepressants for your wife, sometimes you must go through a negative experience. All because antidepressants are different and they have different effects. As for the puppy, you should find out what annoys your wife with the dog. You can learn about how to change some unwanted dog behavior on the site shelterapet.com and in other sources. But it is important that you helped your wife adopt a puppy and were able to eliminate aggravating factors—good luck and patience. I'm sure you can handle everything.

  • dogs can be a great support for some people but not for everyone.  puppies are not easy to manage when things are going well but if your wife is already struggling with things maybe its not the right time to have a puppy.  i have dogs always have and struggle at times but wouldnt be without one, they are great to get you out and about and no matter how im feeling i have to get up walk my dog feed my dog entertain her.  but like i say its not for everyone.  if you wife is avoiding being at home because of the dog i guess rehomeing the puppy would be better but as i say a dog can be great support and they arent puppies forever, my dog is my lifeline

  • My husband had to go through at least 3 antidepressants before he found one that worked better for him. Would she be open to trying a different one? About the puppy , I’m sorry but I don’t have any experience with dogs myself, maybe a good start might be to try and let her think about why she doesn’t want to rehome him. Maybe her issues are more related to the puppy stage? Particularly if she has sensory issues to the noises they make? Or were you planning to train him as a support dog for her and she still ultimately wants that to happen in the end?