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please help - diagnosis anxiety?

Jade

hello, i’m 16 and this is my first time doing anything like this but i really need some support with this. three years ago now, i had my first session with someone from cahms and it was suggested that i could possibly have asperger’s (i know autism is diagnosed generally now don’t worry) and i was put in for an assessment. as i mentioned it has been three years now and i’ve only had an email saying it would take longer and my first attempt at fighting for help resulted in me being told i was quite far down on the waiting list. after it was first mentioned to me i did a little research and found i related to a lot of the symptoms people with autism were experiencing. many people have said to me that a diagnosis won’t do much but it means everything to me, i want that clarity, i want to be able to identify what could be wrong with me, i want to be able to identify what’s wrong so i can get the support i need say if i’m signing a form for uni or applying for a job. i feel so alone, i’ve been hesitating reaching incase i won’t be accepted because i haven’t been diagnosed yet and it’s really hard to talk about my feelings so i find it difficult to go into detail about how i feel with my parents. am i unfit for professional help? i don’t know how much more i can take of the waiting but i really need help and i don’t know where to start.

Parents

  • Really sorry to hear you're going through this. You ask 'am I unfit for professional help?' Absolutely not. You've explained very well why a diagnosis is vital in your case. Not because you 'need' it for acceptance in the autistic community (which will welcome and support you anyway, and you wouldn't be here if you're not struggling with being autistic or neurodivergent enough to have traits, but because for you you need that official validation, not least in order to even summon the emotional energy to start reading up more, exploring help, etc. I was exactly of the same mindset - I got diagnosed this year at 44 years old - and I found the 4-year wait too distressing so paid to go private with it. It's costly (£1000 on average) but maybe your parents could financially assist if you could convey to them how much you're struggling with this limbo? They wouldn't want you to be suffering this much, but I can understand too that you might want to keep this exploration of a potential diagnosis private from them until you know for sure. Not that not doing so isn't perfectly healthy!

    Worst case scenario though: waiting a few more months, which at 16 feels like an eternity (at my age it's the blink of an eye) - hang in there, maybe get the GP's input again as FS suggests, and hopefully you'll be assessed soon. But of course you deserve to have that process as much as anyone. Don't let 'imposter syndrome' get the better of you while you wait. You're here for a reason. 

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  • Really sorry to hear you're going through this. You ask 'am I unfit for professional help?' Absolutely not. You've explained very well why a diagnosis is vital in your case. Not because you 'need' it for acceptance in the autistic community (which will welcome and support you anyway, and you wouldn't be here if you're not struggling with being autistic or neurodivergent enough to have traits, but because for you you need that official validation, not least in order to even summon the emotional energy to start reading up more, exploring help, etc. I was exactly of the same mindset - I got diagnosed this year at 44 years old - and I found the 4-year wait too distressing so paid to go private with it. It's costly (£1000 on average) but maybe your parents could financially assist if you could convey to them how much you're struggling with this limbo? They wouldn't want you to be suffering this much, but I can understand too that you might want to keep this exploration of a potential diagnosis private from them until you know for sure. Not that not doing so isn't perfectly healthy!

    Worst case scenario though: waiting a few more months, which at 16 feels like an eternity (at my age it's the blink of an eye) - hang in there, maybe get the GP's input again as FS suggests, and hopefully you'll be assessed soon. But of course you deserve to have that process as much as anyone. Don't let 'imposter syndrome' get the better of you while you wait. You're here for a reason. 

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