Emotional on/off switch

So this is subject I've tried many times to look into and I've never really found as satisfying answer. 

From as long as I can remember I have had the ability to switch off my emotions at will. So much so after many years of doing so and beginning to better understand my emotions, I began to be able to compartmentalise my emotions and switch them off individually. This was great for times when I'm focused and active because it allows me to block sadness and still feel an anger which motivates me etc. 

But when something like a relationship breakdown, loss of family member or other major trauma I switch off completely, I'm still me, but I'm withdrawn, on auto pilot, I do the things I enjoy, but not because I enjoy them, but because of time. I feel nothing so I become very aware of time. Shutting off doesn't mean it's not there, when I want to switch it all back on, it's an open floodgate. 

Does anyone else here the ability to do this? Is it a childhood trauma response, is it autism related?  

To many people the idea of this it's not great, but the reality is to do this emotional yo yo, I have to open a floodgate which usually sends me into a shutdown, which I never come back the same from.

Parents
  • I absolutely do this too, and it’s literally part of why I’m on this website right now Joy I’m aware I do it, but for me it doesn’t generally come back. If I switch it off and focus on what needs to be done it’s like I lose access to it in a way. Even when my Dad had a heart attack and I was the only one there and called an ambulance. The only time I came close to a full emotional response was when I was back at home to get things for him to take back to the hospital and on the phone to my best friend, and she could hear I was about to start crying and tried to help by encouraging me to focus on the things I needed to get for him. I remember a sort of sense of wistfulness that I was going to lose the opportunity to actually feel what had happened, but it went away and never really came back.

Reply
  • I absolutely do this too, and it’s literally part of why I’m on this website right now Joy I’m aware I do it, but for me it doesn’t generally come back. If I switch it off and focus on what needs to be done it’s like I lose access to it in a way. Even when my Dad had a heart attack and I was the only one there and called an ambulance. The only time I came close to a full emotional response was when I was back at home to get things for him to take back to the hospital and on the phone to my best friend, and she could hear I was about to start crying and tried to help by encouraging me to focus on the things I needed to get for him. I remember a sort of sense of wistfulness that I was going to lose the opportunity to actually feel what had happened, but it went away and never really came back.

Children
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