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Emotional on/off switch

Kev N

So this is subject I've tried many times to look into and I've never really found as satisfying answer. 

From as long as I can remember I have had the ability to switch off my emotions at will. So much so after many years of doing so and beginning to better understand my emotions, I began to be able to compartmentalise my emotions and switch them off individually. This was great for times when I'm focused and active because it allows me to block sadness and still feel an anger which motivates me etc. 

But when something like a relationship breakdown, loss of family member or other major trauma I switch off completely, I'm still me, but I'm withdrawn, on auto pilot, I do the things I enjoy, but not because I enjoy them, but because of time. I feel nothing so I become very aware of time. Shutting off doesn't mean it's not there, when I want to switch it all back on, it's an open floodgate. 

Does anyone else here the ability to do this? Is it a childhood trauma response, is it autism related?  

To many people the idea of this it's not great, but the reality is to do this emotional yo yo, I have to open a floodgate which usually sends me into a shutdown, which I never come back the same from.

Parents

  • This is really interesting. I don't know if it's an autistic thing or not but my daughter does the same. It's amazing to watch at times. She can be really emotional or in the middle of a meltdown but if something else is going on, for example, someone in the family has injured themselves, she just stops immediately, and shows no emotion and its pike she's detached herself from the world but is still there helping the injured person. 

    Same with the loss of someone or pet. My other children will be extremely upset, cry and will grieve. On the other hand, my daughter with autism, is upset but doesn't show it but continues with life like nothing happened. She doesn't make a deal out of it. 

    It's like she can switch off her emotions aswell. I don't know if what I have just said makes any sense so sorry if it doesn't. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    I can relate to this - As a child and teenager I often appeared unnaturally calm in the face of crisis or I appeared to recover relatively quickly from loss- I remember that I was able to not feel during those times. But it did eventually catch up with me - I cried and grieved a lot about the death of my grandpa (actually adopted grandpa- but the best one ever) only years later- For me those feelings that were shut off at the time had to resurface eventually- I don't think the shutting off of feelings was a conscious act. Now, I am actually unable to do this shutting off anymore- not sure if that is a good thing or not. 

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  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    I can relate to this - As a child and teenager I often appeared unnaturally calm in the face of crisis or I appeared to recover relatively quickly from loss- I remember that I was able to not feel during those times. But it did eventually catch up with me - I cried and grieved a lot about the death of my grandpa (actually adopted grandpa- but the best one ever) only years later- For me those feelings that were shut off at the time had to resurface eventually- I don't think the shutting off of feelings was a conscious act. Now, I am actually unable to do this shutting off anymore- not sure if that is a good thing or not. 

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