• Replies 1 reply
  • Subscribers 81 subscribers
  • Views 443 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Link between unhappiness and anger and to escape both

NAS71657

I'll try to be brief but a little background info is necessary:

 I had been getting nowhere trying to see a doctor in person. Eventually, I was admitted to the hospital. Unfortunately, my potassium level was very deficient, and I required several transfusions and supplements.

The cardiac ward staff were all excellent and very kind, but when I was told that I would be discharged, I became extremely depressed. I was conscious that, unlike others, I was not eager to be home, as  I would immediately have to deal with all the unfinished business/chores. I also knew that there would be no compassionate welcome. My father is laconic to the point of being mute. When I told him I was profoundly upset, he asked, 'What am I supposed to do about that? When I try to explain, he always starts to get angry and shout, and I end up with raging frustration and self-pity. Incidentally, I'm an Aspie. My father is not. Any thoughts?

Parents

  • Well, but what you are expecting from him to say after your input?  I'm kinda very helpless in those situations, unless someone tells exactly what they need from me, while I also enjoy kind attitude, as I am mirroring that attitude back. Then, your use of language is apparently used in a way, where you are expecting one type of answer up to a point, that you don't even realize, that you are using it to harm and why would you be surprised, when you get the same thing mirrored back?

    Maybe do some experimentation and say completelly different thing. Your use of language can be changed. One of the ways, how I was dealing with depression was looking on the roofs of houses, when I was walking outside, because that was fooling my brain, as depressed people were looking only on the ground. Same is very similar with other people - if you want different output from them, give them them input, that would require different answer - that also requires you to be proactive in giving positive input.

    Also, if he had a diagnosis, would he receive from you some understanding as an autistic person of his inability to communicate "properly"? For me there is different fear while communicating with ASD, because NT are acting according to one programm(within limits of region or group), but with ASD, it is much harder to tell... for some reasons quite many people with ASD think, that they might not have any issues when communicating with other people on ASD. Ha...

Reply

  • Well, but what you are expecting from him to say after your input?  I'm kinda very helpless in those situations, unless someone tells exactly what they need from me, while I also enjoy kind attitude, as I am mirroring that attitude back. Then, your use of language is apparently used in a way, where you are expecting one type of answer up to a point, that you don't even realize, that you are using it to harm and why would you be surprised, when you get the same thing mirrored back?

    Maybe do some experimentation and say completelly different thing. Your use of language can be changed. One of the ways, how I was dealing with depression was looking on the roofs of houses, when I was walking outside, because that was fooling my brain, as depressed people were looking only on the ground. Same is very similar with other people - if you want different output from them, give them them input, that would require different answer - that also requires you to be proactive in giving positive input.

    Also, if he had a diagnosis, would he receive from you some understanding as an autistic person of his inability to communicate "properly"? For me there is different fear while communicating with ASD, because NT are acting according to one programm(within limits of region or group), but with ASD, it is much harder to tell... for some reasons quite many people with ASD think, that they might not have any issues when communicating with other people on ASD. Ha...

Children
No Data