Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I feel like there is tonnes of support out there for people who are related to, partners of, or work with autistic people, but nothing on the reverse for autistic people so am looking for some advice or thoughts.
I’ve just been referred for a formal autism assessment so am waiting that appointment. However, my husband doesn’t ask questions, want to listen or engage with anything about doctors appointments or autism. He literally just ignores it and walks away. I feel like he is either embarrassed of me, doesn’t believe me, or doesn’t care. I’ve tried to ask him why he doesn’t want to know anything about it but he always twists it back to me and how I’m being awkward etc - which makes me think I am? But in my gut I know I’m not. I don’t know what to ask him or how to speak to him. I want this to be the start of living my authentic life as my authentic self and I feel so happy to have my referral. But I feel like I am the only one who feels like this and to him I am just a weirdo - but it also doesn’t make sense to me, he married me so why wouldn’t he care about what’s going on with me?
He can't wrap his head around it. He might in time. But just now he can't. But you are not a weirdo or awkward and you know that. Hang on to your sense of self there. You must. I have been where you are. It's not lack of love on their part, but lack of understanding.
I'm glad you've got as far as a referral. I hope you now get well qualified assessors who give you your truth. X