Hard to explain

Oh, this is an interesting old thread. I suppose I've learned to put a label of 'alexithymia' (not knowing what you're feeling) to some of this.  But yes, I've often thought of this as a meta-problem. One of my problems is not being able to explain what the problem is.  How can anyone help when they don't know what''s wrong or what you want to do?

I wonder if a way to overcome it is look through the lists of human needs from things like 'Human Givens' or 'Non-Violent Communication' as a kind of prompt. That's assuming our needs are the same as others'.

I've been thinking about this alot and it's driving me nuts! I agree with Scorpion - it is funny that we all understand in a vaguely exact way. I often get the feeling that something is missing, or that I am missing something. Conversely I also often get frustrated with "the normal people" when they don't understand simple logic and reason. OK so it's my logic and reason but often it works - sort of. Sometimes I think I think too much, question too much, see things from too many perspectives... it all gets a little confusing

I wonder though to what extent that is symptomatic of human isolation. NTs can get their reference points from others by social interchange. We cannot, or are much less effective at doing so.

I frequently got into trouble at work because being prone to being confused or disorientated I had to ask for advice or for things to be explained to me. This was identified as my not being up to the job, and that everyone else manages to follow what is going on, why not you?

I also tended to blank part of a task as if it wasn't there, which goes along with a tendancy to compartmentalise a lot. I'd complete a task to perfection, but with a gap that simply didn't occur to me that should apparently have been obvious.

The problem with needing periodic clarification is that eventually, with knock backs and refusals, I gave up asking and researched around things, and just muddled through, with the risk of things going wrong.

Yet I am aware that the NTs around me were making better connections. They had a social interface that allowed them to fill gaps in their understanding by testing and sounding out their fellows, so they didn't need to ask a question outright, and show themselves up. This sometimes involves setting each other up so someone else does the verification.

I'm taken with Digby Tantam's ideas about the "interbrain" (Can the World Afford Autistic Spectrum Disorder? Nonverbal Communication, Asperger Syndrome and the Interbrain" Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2009). It seems there is a collective response in NTs which helps people orientate themselves and gain all the information needed.

Funny (humorous) how even though none of us can really describe it in anything but very vague terms, we all know exactly what we're all talking about!

Hi susie163, scorpion and Azalea,

That makes me feel a whole lot better.

(maybe I havn't even got a piton in the cliff but at least I know they exist. )

Absolutely.

I had this today, and get it very often.

I can't be any less vague about it either though, unfortunately.

Hi Jon,

I do too. It's a wierd feeling of something not being quite right but not knowing what is wrong. I cannot explain it either other than to say it feels like something physically grabbing hold of me and asking questions I do not understand, i feel it like a knot in my stomach. It's like I've missed something important but am not sure what. Like I'm feeling some sort of emotion but cannot identify it.

Sorry this is a bit vague too