What am i ?

Being conscious of social nuances and making the conscious effort to fit in, understand, communicate is - from my understanding - one thing which marks an Autistic brain. There are some sayings which make sense because they're sensible. I can genuinely say when I was 15 and told I couldn't see the forest for the trees, I didn't even know that I didn't know how confusing that statement was. I was so far removed from understanding I didn't understand that I wasn't even prompted to work out what my instructor was 'suggesting'. 

NeuroTypical individuals have these "Defence Mechanisms" which originally were thought of as 'encoding' from society. Their Nature is designed to be Nurtured a particular way. And so through language, they are able to integrate these encodings because that's how their asymmetrical brains are wired. So, there will rarely occur a prompt that something is getting lost in translation. What's more, they can seamlessly 'mature' through a mechanism called Sublimation, where some things you've mentioned never need to happen on a conscious level. Communication almost always feels fluid. Language is fluid. It's REALLY odd when someone doesn't understand what they're communicating and so, The Double Empathy Problem. 

Some of us spend a little more time and work studying matters of communication - especially when the confusion is severe or, in your case, there is a noticeable stutter. As I've become more aware of my communication deficit with neurotypicals, I occasionally stutter. Before I 'woke up' to just how confused and in a haze I was, my timing was terrible, my rhetoric unrecognisable, I have a feeling that being hard met with a very tactile reality something is amiss, forces us to do a bit more work. 

Sometimes an Autistic individual will have made it through life with little complications or able to ignore the nuances of differences because this person is not greatly impacted. I would suggest this might be more often found in a male dominant within his own culture who's specialised in a field and has a steady income enough to make his wife happy. That's an observation. 

Thankyou so much for your observation. Communication has always been an effort and fitting in is something I consciously do. It looks like im going to do more reading up on ASD. Cheers

Thankyou so much for your observation. Communication has always been an effort and fitting in is something I consciously do. It looks like im going to do more reading up on ASD. Cheers

So much of that makes sence. Most of my school therapists were probably thinking that i stuttered because i didnt have the words of the sentence in my head before i said it. "Think of the words them say them" my speech therapists would say. They probably thought i was peeling or finding the words. With me i stutter less when im free forming. Saying my name at age 10 however could take a whole minute. (A very long minute) and i would invaribly have to write it down for them at the end. Thanks for the link

I failed to mention- my awareness = stuttering are more to do with actively peeling through the 'library' of this brain of mine, and due to my brains computational problems in these Lobes, experiencing a glitch. 

When I was young, I just didn't speak much. Shy, Mouse, Ghost were tags I'd receive. It is the active effort of a part of the brain we don't innately heavily focus in on (semiotics / grammar) that will take a minute to catch up to speak / speed. 

This is written in a way NTs might want to read it, but it basically suggests we tend to have Hyper-Symmetrical neuro-wiring. www.huffpost.com/.../amp