Some layers don't understand how my mental health crisis works. Police should be able to help me, even if I incriminate myself a little bit.

I think I can help you a little, because you report exactly the same feelings I had all though my youth (and still get intermittently, like today, when in the most deranged possible I just promised to destroy my muse with an 'ammer because toaday, now, I am burningly angry and resentful of aspects of my situation)

Here's the thing, I am in my sixties, and apart from one time when I made the mistake of "seeking help" and got given Prozac, which seriously unbalanced me, I've hurt no-one including myself, since I got a grip back in the very early eighties. 

The bad news is that there is no magic wand, but there are some coping techniques that I lucked into and will now try and share.

1. REMEMBER THIS: These moods are always transitory. AWAYS. You are quite rational, you can see that if you act on those strong feelings things will go to ***, so DON'T. A mantra that hippies use for dealing with the effects of strong psychedelic drugs, (particularly "bad trips") is to remember that this is a temporary problem and that all you need to do is, DO NOTHING and wait it out). Seriously, that's the trick, it worked for me and kept me out of the MH and Justice systems for decades until I was able to work out/ find out out WHY my life was so *** that I felt that way.. 

2. At the end of the day, these negative feelings of frustration and powerlessness are just that. Strong feelings. The whole trick of winnig versus losing, appears to be gaining mastery over your own feelings and not letting them get in the way of your life.

And how do you do that smarty pants? (I hear the reader thinking!) Well, Initially, I discovered the power of cannabis to dull my feelings to a more manageable level around the age of 18.. Drugs can work well, whether licit or illicit to help MANAGE your pain, but they don't really change your situation...

3. Now, and this is where many people will stop reading, if you want a more permanent solution, than merely "staying out of trouble & surviving" you will need to get yourself some "religion"! If there is anyone still reading at this point, here is why we need what I call "religion". Life is as you so poignantly describe, almost impossibly hard and unpleasant for some of us, yet not all of us. For some people life is clearly easy, and things go their way, much more so than for us "losers"!

Rather than resenting the winners in life, (particularly the way they try to stay as far away from "losers like us" as they can!) We need to accept the worked example that they offer, and study it until we can do it ourselves, right? Well I did that for about 30 years, and to save you some time, it's just blind luck. they had the right skillset, aptitude, birth parents, whatever, to allow them to hit the ground running, and thrive in this set of circumstances. We didn't. SO there is NO POINT in "playing the game" exactly the same way that they do, 'cos you will lose. Over and over again. Like I did for a LONG time.

Here's a bit of conspiracy theory, that if you think about it, might turn out to be true. In the 1950's the "generation gap" was created, and became very popular in the media. A serious side effect of defining the "generation gap" was to cut the young people off from listening to the wisdom of the older people, by painting them (us!) as "out of date" or "irrelevant". The idea (according to the theory) seems to have been to successfully erase the sort of oral tradition that cultures are built on with a television tradition, where elders passing on the hard won and valuable lessons of life have been replaced with talking heads telling us and the kids what vested interests pay them to say.

It is hard to push against such pervasive and evil programming with a simple post on a forum, but if I could I'd tell you as a "Wiser elder" that there is a "game" out there called "Mental Health" In this game some pay counsellers and get paid (in some cases very handsomely) for their participation and some players get to be the "patient" who is nether paid, nor does he get to stop playing the role after the working day is over.

I'd you can control your own actions and presentation well enough to avoid playing that mental health game, particularly in the "patient" role, I'd highly recommend it.

Playing the mental health game although it seems to have rewards for some people, tends to disqualify (or at least handicap you) in many of life's other, more enjoyable and rewarding games. And it's almost impossible to stop playing that game once started, because you need the people who are being paid for "treating" your "illness" to sign off on your mental health, which both cuts off part of their income source AND they'd face questioning from their peers, who apparently never "cure" anyone of MH issues.

I watched an interviewer camped outside a psychiatric convention ask exactly that question of the esteemed professionals as they left their conference; "Have you ever cured anybody?" NOT one of them claimed to have ever accomplished that feat.

BUT at least they all got paid for their "efforts". One of many groups that get paid for participation, no matter how ineffective or even harmful to the clients well being that turns out to be. YOUR misery is bread and drink for most of these people, literally!!

And that goes doubly so, for policemen... You are better off keeping your own nose clean, rather than hoping some "professional"  will actually HELP you improve your own lot.

(Lets see how many read this, and are moved to write a detailed first hand refutation of what I say, including a worked example of where their lives personally got improved as a result of reaching out to the police or mental health services... Maybe my observations, limited as they are, are missing out some great and uplifting stories where the involvement of the "professionals" actually did make a qualitive improvement to their lives. Just because I've not experienced or heard of it, does not mean it does not happen).   

I agree!

Autism makes us vulnerable in the criminal justice system. Whether false confessions, given immediately, when no lawyer has advised, or fixated thinking of harming others, delusions of guilt, etc. There is research on the subject, even a book.

My preference would be to steer well clear, to access mental health support from specialists who understand autism, and to focus on facts, clearly differentiating facts from fantasy or wish fulfillment. So, for example, you may have wanted to harm others who bullied you, but that might have been a fantasy that you would never act out. It won't help you when talking to the police to discuss fantasies, all it will get you is jail time. The police are there to protect and serve, they are not your friends, it is an act to get your trust to make you confess to crimes.

If you have committed crimes, that is a different matter, but remember that the role of the criminal justice system is to protect society from criminals not to look after your interests. A lawyer might be a good place to start, but they can't help people who admit crimes. 

Learning to distract yourself from obsessive thinking about guilt might help. Autistic people are more likely than neurotypicals to play online games. That might be a good way of changing emotional gear.

I had a friend use gaming to treat his very understandable depression that occurred after his G/F got run over. It served as a distraction all right, for about FIVE YEARS.  He looked "melted into his chair" when I caught up with him. I managed to get him out of that chair and into the real world again, but it was such an effort.

I've also treated my own issues with drugs, cannabis, which have helped take the edge off, but it wasn't until I hit on the "If you can't help your self help some other poor sod" approach that my life actually started to get BETTER.

I don't want the poor chap to waste his most productive years in misery like I did, if what worked for me so well can be applied by him nearly a half century earlier than I started doing it. 

GIve a man a fish and he eats for the day, give him the skills to fish, and the bigger problem gets solved...

Give an unhappy person a distraction from the misery and they swing between misery and distraction, but if they undertake a series of constructive and helpful acts, they get both the distraction and an increased sense of agency and self worth, whilst picking up or excercising useful life skills. 

IN engineering terms it's a strategy that is likely more likely to deliver a permanent and first time fix..And I get a sense that this poster is actually actively hoping to fix their situation, and get a fulfilling life.

I can't get back the half century I lost in aimless misery, feeling just like the O/P but I can share the tools I've used to overcome some quite serious issues, such as the one the O/P describes. People ARE different and I'm not so self impressed that I am certain I have all the answers and that my advice is the best.

In fact the process of giving it scares me. But some knowledge  I seem to have lucked into, has been really powerful for me, and sharing it (In excruciating detail and quite poorly sometimes) costs me nothing, except a bit of time. 

And TBF, I am recommending a form of "gaming" actually. I do much of my "good works" not like this, but more invisibly. I've even taken to using the expression "Plan it like you would plan a crime!".

It's a bhuddist/kung-fu/ninja type of skill, and if you embrace it the aim being not to become a known "do gooder" with all that entails, but to "do good" as a form of spiritual combat, or learned practical useful skill, where the course materials are completely free of charge, and the skill you gain has good utility and generates a useful "return" to the operator. 

Of course you are right, anything which helps others or yourself in the real world is going to be better than gaming. I was suggesting the easiest distraction. Picking up a book or his special interest if he has any would also work. Doing a job and earning money and contributing to the economy by doing something useful would also be good, though he said he was still at school. Mind you in the UK that limits his maximum age, in the US school means college or university here. 

Mostly good, but I found "games" to be "empty calories".

Doing an act of kindness or planned goodness, is much more of an accomplishment than handing out gibbitude to the aliens or building a digital empire, and occasionally delivers unexpected and tangible benefits which games never do. 

I get the same level of challenge and occasionally excitement playing the altruism game as I do others. I don't consider myself to be especially "goodie two shoes" or or any of that sort of claptrap, I'm just stuck in an imperfect world, and often it is easier to make someone else's bit better than it is to make my own bit better. And a WIN is always a WIN, whether you are the beneficiary or not.

BUT when you get good at engineering situations where everyone wins, god seems to l've you more. Or you get luckier. Or the psychology is good. OR your karma improves, heck, I don't know why it works, but it does. My existence became more of a life after I figured that one out. 

The day comes one day, when some person is waging a campaign of hatred against you, including making sure their dog shits on your land. You are in your thirties however, and have grown ninja customer service skills as a by-product of learning to survive in the neuro typical world. I think we all do, to a certain extent, but I found it useful to study psychology and "games people play" and I learned how to BE NICE to troubled people.

When faced with a certain sort of horrible person I consider it to be way more satisfying to demolish their aggression with carefully applied goodness, ninja psychology and compassion, that striking them a heavy blow with a ball-pein hammer would ever deliver. But you will need to get a grip of yourself first and create or find an environment where you are reasonably free of oppression for a good few years to grow those more advanced skills.   

The guy with the pooping dog? I honestly cannot remember what I did/said to him, but I used my skills, and he handed me a can of beer and never gave me any trouble again. 

I don't often win so big, but I do win often... Or you can gain gaming skills...

Mostly good, but I found "games" to be "empty calories".

Doing an act of kindness or planned goodness, is much more of an accomplishment than handing out gibbitude to the aliens or building a digital empire, and occasionally delivers unexpected and tangible benefits which games never do. 

I get the same level of challenge and occasionally excitement playing the altruism game as I do others. I don't consider myself to be especially "goodie two shoes" or or any of that sort of claptrap, I'm just stuck in an imperfect world, and often it is easier to make someone else's bit better than it is to make my own bit better. And a WIN is always a WIN, whether you are the beneficiary or not.

BUT when you get good at engineering situations where everyone wins, god seems to l've you more. Or you get luckier. Or the psychology is good. OR your karma improves, heck, I don't know why it works, but it does. My existence became more of a life after I figured that one out. 

The day comes one day, when some person is waging a campaign of hatred against you, including making sure their dog shits on your land. You are in your thirties however, and have grown ninja customer service skills as a by-product of learning to survive in the neuro typical world. I think we all do, to a certain extent, but I found it useful to study psychology and "games people play" and I learned how to BE NICE to troubled people.

When faced with a certain sort of horrible person I consider it to be way more satisfying to demolish their aggression with carefully applied goodness, ninja psychology and compassion, that striking them a heavy blow with a ball-pein hammer would ever deliver. But you will need to get a grip of yourself first and create or find an environment where you are reasonably free of oppression for a good few years to grow those more advanced skills.   

The guy with the pooping dog? I honestly cannot remember what I did/said to him, but I used my skills, and he handed me a can of beer and never gave me any trouble again. 

I don't often win so big, but I do win often... Or you can gain gaming skills...

I had a friend use gaming to treat his very understandable depression that occurred after his G/F got run over. It served as a distraction all right, for about FIVE YEARS.  He looked "melted into his chair" when I caught up with him. I managed to get him out of that chair and into the real world again, but it was such an effort.

I've also treated my own issues with drugs, cannabis, which have helped take the edge off, but it wasn't until I hit on the "If you can't help your self help some other poor sod" approach that my life actually started to get BETTER.

I don't want the poor chap to waste his most productive years in misery like I did, if what worked for me so well can be applied by him nearly a half century earlier than I started doing it. 

GIve a man a fish and he eats for the day, give him the skills to fish, and the bigger problem gets solved...

Give an unhappy person a distraction from the misery and they swing between misery and distraction, but if they undertake a series of constructive and helpful acts, they get both the distraction and an increased sense of agency and self worth, whilst picking up or excercising useful life skills. 

IN engineering terms it's a strategy that is likely more likely to deliver a permanent and first time fix..And I get a sense that this poster is actually actively hoping to fix their situation, and get a fulfilling life.

I can't get back the half century I lost in aimless misery, feeling just like the O/P but I can share the tools I've used to overcome some quite serious issues, such as the one the O/P describes. People ARE different and I'm not so self impressed that I am certain I have all the answers and that my advice is the best.

In fact the process of giving it scares me. But some knowledge  I seem to have lucked into, has been really powerful for me, and sharing it (In excruciating detail and quite poorly sometimes) costs me nothing, except a bit of time. 

And TBF, I am recommending a form of "gaming" actually. I do much of my "good works" not like this, but more invisibly. I've even taken to using the expression "Plan it like you would plan a crime!".

It's a bhuddist/kung-fu/ninja type of skill, and if you embrace it the aim being not to become a known "do gooder" with all that entails, but to "do good" as a form of spiritual combat, or learned practical useful skill, where the course materials are completely free of charge, and the skill you gain has good utility and generates a useful "return" to the operator. 

Of course you are right, anything which helps others or yourself in the real world is going to be better than gaming. I was suggesting the easiest distraction. Picking up a book or his special interest if he has any would also work. Doing a job and earning money and contributing to the economy by doing something useful would also be good, though he said he was still at school. Mind you in the UK that limits his maximum age, in the US school means college or university here.