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Having a hard time dealing with stress/anxiety when too much is going on around me

Stimpson

Hi all.

(undiagnosed & waiting for assessment - 46y)

I’ve been doing well in identifying why I do things and how to stop going into meltdowns and managing things around me much better. But….

I’ve a 2 and 4 year old girls. When they start with the noise - the screaming/crying/shouting/tv on/daddy daddy daddy all the time…. I get a horrible knot in stomach - anxiety/stress maybe. And when it’s there I just can’t cope with it. I end up short tempered. I can feel myself wanting to scream at them and my head gets overloaded. 
Ive started with earphones on and trying to listen to music to calm it all down. But that’s not easy when you’re looking after kids!! 
I know it’s happening but struggle to deal with it. I want to just get away and lock myself in a room for a day.
anyway I just wanted to get it out of my system and talk it through out loud (we’ll on here anyway).

Feel better already Smiley

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Ok you may of mis understood. 
    im their dad. And I’m the one awaiting ASD assessment. I’ve been on my own this weekend and having the issues when my head can’t cope with it all. 
    the wife has had a break and that’s why I’m having a meltdown. Joy
    I’ve had a really good day after my struggles this morning. 
    Getting my thoughts onto this forum has helped massively and just getting feedback from you lovely people really helps & thank you. 

    I’m learning now to take a break when I get the opportunity. But sometimes on your own you can’t do that and I’m trying to manage those times when I know the bells are ringing and nobody is around to support. 

  • in reply to Stimpson

    Ah - hello! Joy
    Every parent has days when it feels overwhelming I’m sure. I think it would be nice if you could take sole care of your children for a few hours a week so that your wife can have a break and do something to reconnect with her pre-parenting identity. And perhaps she could do the same for you too Slight smile 

    Are there no grandparents that can help out ? A lot of grandparents love to do this. Then you and your wife could go on a date Blush

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel
    • I am their dad Joy we do struggle for support but do get breaks now and then and yes it makes a huge difference. I think I just need to keep reminding myself it’s not their fault and take a deep breath. I get why people drink cos at 9am this morning I so wanted a beer to take the edge of it!!! 

  • Hi - it’s been a long time since my children were that young - but I can remember how stressful it can be at times.

    Do you have anyone who can look after your children for a little while sometimes? A husband, grandparents, siblings or friends?
    it might help you if you can have a couple of times every week when you have a break and do something just for you. 
    sometimes even a few hours a week can make all the difference - and then you can return to your children refreshed and be a much better mum to them than when you’re feeling so tired and overwhelmed. 

    What about their Dad? It’s as much his responsibility to care for them as it is yours. 

  • OMG - ARE YOU ME???? I could have written this. Love my son but my god!!!!! Yes to the music/headphone - Needed at all times quite frankly. Its so hard - i feel you, just need one day

  • Perhaps teach them mindfulness and meditation, as well as yourself. Young children really benefit from that. It allows them to be calm, it helps them understand that acting rather than reacting is much better. We all need to learn that. Here is a good resource explaining it and what questions to ask children that many parents neglect. Good luck
    www.mindful.org/.../