Help / advice with Aspergers/hfa daughter








Not sure if this the right place to ask this.
My daughter was diagnosed with aspergers at 18, she is now almost 31.  We have never had any support with her since diagnosis.

She lives with us. As myself and my husband are getting older, and 2 of our other children have left home, with our youngest leaving home soon. Our thoughts have turned to downsizing in the next few years.

Our  hfa daughter seems to think i can fix anything /everything, she DOES however work part-time as a cleaner,  which is a fantastic achievement.

The issue i have is.... when we downsize, we want it to be just us ie myself and my husband. We have started to discuss this openly, so it doesn't come out of the blue.

She is very resistant to this and wants to come with us, our daughter that is due to move out has said we are unreasonable in not wanting to take our hfa daughter.


Our hfa daughter is always present, we cannot have a private conversation unless she is at work, or we go out for a walk or out in the car.  She does not help around the home, her room is a mess and only gets hoovered or cleaned when I do it.

Where can I get help to achieve her living independently of us? The situation has become very stressful for me. 

Parents
  • In my view, its best to prepare autistic adults for the realities of life, parents getting older and them not being around one day.  Its better to explore independent living now and aim for that, than it suddenly forced upon her in the future.

    Although diagnosed with HFA, sounds like she has difficulties that might qualify her for support living - so social services assessment probably the best thing.  Explore other options, see whats available in your area - housing associations sometimes have supported living options.  She may not qualify for residential homes, but worth seeing if its possible.  If she has mental health issues that may provide access to support living.  

    The NAS directory might be useful, and try the helpline.

Reply
  • In my view, its best to prepare autistic adults for the realities of life, parents getting older and them not being around one day.  Its better to explore independent living now and aim for that, than it suddenly forced upon her in the future.

    Although diagnosed with HFA, sounds like she has difficulties that might qualify her for support living - so social services assessment probably the best thing.  Explore other options, see whats available in your area - housing associations sometimes have supported living options.  She may not qualify for residential homes, but worth seeing if its possible.  If she has mental health issues that may provide access to support living.  

    The NAS directory might be useful, and try the helpline.

Children
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