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Help!

NAS79623

My son is 4 years old, he is currently on the waiting list to be diagnosed with ASD. I am really struggling at the moment and could really do with some help and advice, he is non verbal and communication is a real struggle. He has been potty trained for about a year now and has never had any accidents or problems with using the toilet, but now all of a sudden is no longer using a toilet and is weeing on and in objects. He is weeing on his drawers and his sisters toys, I can’t understand where this behaviour has come from. I am also struggling with understanding what he wants. He used to take me to things and point at them now he no longer does that and if I don’t understand his wants or needs he has a full blown melt down and throws evert and anything he can find around. He has an obsession with with throwing his toys over the neighbours fence at the moment and I’m trying to tell him no but he just looks at me and does it anyway.

someone please help me as I’m really struggling at the moment with how defiant he has become 

  • I sense your frustration and as a mother who is autistic, I can tell you your son is even more frustrated and simply reacting to, maybe a few things. 

    Most autistic children will have difficulty understanding what they want. Interception is incredibly difficult even when we're older, especially if we experience constant interruptions. We are capable of sitting and focusing for hours on end with one thing and as an adult, this is a desirable trait. 

    It may take some thinking but has anything changed in his environment, in the house, in his routine that he wasn't prepared for?

    I used to provide one or 2 options for my son when he was young so as to not confuse him. It's important to never overwhelm or overstimulate children, but especially autistic children. They can sense changes in weather, in lighting (natural filament bulbs vs unnatural LEDs), in sound, smell. They can sense plastic, tar based fabrics (polyesters) which the skin cannot breath in. They are more sensitive to allergies and chemically made sweeteners (natural sugars like honey are far less harmful) - and for all these things they may not actually be able to communicate What  they're sensing but these can feel like torture. These are amazing in the wild, when camping, when foraging, as one becomes a specialist in any field which requires this kind of sensitivity. For children without parents who recognise this, it is like living in prison... sadly. 

    You can become more sensory aware from meditation, yoga, etc. 

    Understand he probably also feels your reaction to his feeling arrested by the inability to communicate while most likely Over Sensing others emotions and psychology without the maturity to recognise and identify all these "seemingly invisible" exchanges. 

    What appears like 'regression' can simply be an expression of no longer being able to use intensive conscious effort to grow due to feeling attacked either by his environment and sensory compounded by the frustrations of not being able to access the language/ semiotic lobes in the same way. He might feel overwhelmed from not being given enough time to focus in his own space. The adult #ActuallyAutistic community on Twitter can give you an insight into how as humans, we are far more in touch with our beings while also not having the same 'programming' as our NeuroTypical peers to just dull the senses or engage with language the same way.