Published on 12, July, 2020
As a person with Autism Spectrum Disorder, I am afraid that I could commit petty sexual crime without mens rea, because I don't understand some body languages very well, specifically body languages that are supposed to be simple to understand, and I don't understand mixed messages very well, even though it's obvious.
I get scared that I can't agree or disagree if I am being inappropriate, even when my friends say that I am a good friend to them.
I know that studies say that people with Autism Spectrum Disorder are more likely to be victims than being perpetrators, but the problem is crime is a very broad term, and you need social skills to follow specific laws. Lacking social skills can highten the risk for petty criminal behavior, specifically related to invading boundaries.
I sometimes become violent and very stressed when I am in a completely different environment, and at the moment, I don't feel safe, but to others, I am seen as a criminal. It's embarrassing!
Initiating romantic and sexual situations is a minefield for autistic people. I think that female autistics are at greater than average risk of being manipulated and abused, whereas male autistics run greater risk of misreading situations and being accused of inappropriate actions. This is because we are out of the loop in regard to non-verbal signalling - facial expressions and body language. As a result many forms of flirting are quite beyond us, we cannot recognise the signals and are incapable of correctly signalling back. The only real safeguards are to firstly take anything said literally - if you get a 'No!", or "Don't", then just stop. Secondly, negotiate, no-one is ever offended by politeness and consideration. If you want to kiss someone, ask first. The first time I kissed my future wife was on her birthday, and I think I said, "Would a birthday kiss be appropriate?" Luckily, it was.
I definitely agree. I prefer to ask for direct and clear communication, because I don't understand some body languages very well, and I don't understand mixed messages very well.