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I’m a mum and suspect I may be on the spectrum since my son was diagnosed

Zoe

Hi there, 

I’m a mum of two and my eldest was diagnosed with autism at age 4. Watching him grown and seeing more and more of his symptoms show I can see so similarities in how I was as a child and how I am still as an adult. 
I have wondered about sensory overload being a big one as I can find too many sounds going on at once too much, even my kiddos making happy playing around noises makes me angry and uptight. 
I have always struggled with being alone, for example when I was younger (age 18) and I was in the house alone until say 11pm I wouldn’t go to sleep and leave all the house lights on. As an adults I can’t go to sleep if my husband is downstairs on the sofa due to his bad back or snoring. It makes me feels sad, tearful and depressed. I am going to be home alone for 2 days/nights soon and the thought makes me sweat and shake. 

I have been diagnosed with anxiety in the past but don’t really have any worry cycles or thoughts to go with it or to manage.

I have always found plans changing tricky to handle and if things get out of my control (letting my husband do shopping for example, or being substituted something in a delivery that is more expensive than what I ordered I get overwhelmed and it seems huge to me, causing me to to cry and feel cross.

I am very forgetful to the point of not even having a vague recollection it’s as if the slate has been wiped clean even if the conversation happened a day before hand. 
I get overwhelmed with a cluttered house. 
move always been social anxious, I prefer to be around people most of the time but find it hard to be around new people or can find I just down want to be touched, talked to or interact with people a lot of the time also. I’m not an overly huggy person, just mostly happy being affectionate with my kids. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed by being intimate with my husband (whom I adore and is extremely supportive when I’m not in the right headspace for intimacy). 

ive noticed I cope with things by watching tv to go to sleep or listening to a podcast, I either pick my thumbs, twirl my hair or rub my thumb nail on my top lip because it feels soothing. 
I have also had intrusive thoughts or images popping in and out over the years also. (Mostly about loosing people I love or getting hit by a car for example).
There’s a fair few other things but I worry I’m going on to long here. I wondered if anyone can empathise or recognise these feelings or how they went about getting an assessment. 

Parents

  • Females are often overlooked as we 'present' different. I didn't even start looking into it until I realised my son had Dyslexia, discovered that was on the spectrum, and started realising I was somewhere on there.

    I recognise some of what you're saying. And eventually found it useful to head down a path to 'find' myself. I was completely withdrawn by 17. In a haze. Independent but attachments would really impact me. Autism is this human experience where everything is intensified. So I had to learn everything emotional, psychological and physical which was affecting me and this took a great deal of time. 

    As for kids, all parents can get irritated and we just pretend we're not. That's ok, it's an act of selflessness. 

    I would seek out an autistic therapist if you can or someone who specialises in it. 

    Once I started to find unique and overlooked elements of my being, I looked for ways to nurture this 'self'. For women, we can put our self-care on hold indefinitely for the sake of others. So scheduling in one day a week to work on one part of me became absolutely crucial years ago.

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  • Females are often overlooked as we 'present' different. I didn't even start looking into it until I realised my son had Dyslexia, discovered that was on the spectrum, and started realising I was somewhere on there.

    I recognise some of what you're saying. And eventually found it useful to head down a path to 'find' myself. I was completely withdrawn by 17. In a haze. Independent but attachments would really impact me. Autism is this human experience where everything is intensified. So I had to learn everything emotional, psychological and physical which was affecting me and this took a great deal of time. 

    As for kids, all parents can get irritated and we just pretend we're not. That's ok, it's an act of selflessness. 

    I would seek out an autistic therapist if you can or someone who specialises in it. 

    Once I started to find unique and overlooked elements of my being, I looked for ways to nurture this 'self'. For women, we can put our self-care on hold indefinitely for the sake of others. So scheduling in one day a week to work on one part of me became absolutely crucial years ago.

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