Feeling isolated and vulnerable after late diagnosis

Hi! I think that the the typical type of reactions I have had from people are either, that they had not recognised anything particularly different about me, or were relieved to find that the odd things that they had noticed in my behaviour, had an explanation. In both cases the response was essentially positive. Many autistic people report that people have flatly disbelieved their diagnosis, but that has not happened to me.

Hello, I have cptsd as well and it’s a huge revelation looking back over how I’ve reacted to things knowing now that I’m autistic. I think if you can access getting assessed and it would help you understand yourself you should go for it! I personally find it helps me to be more forgiving to myself and it’s validated my feelings of being unable to cope with ptsd symptoms 

I’ve also only told a handful of people and mainly family, so far all positive so I guess I should focus on the good. It’s nice to hear your friend was really kind 

Thanks for replying, it’s nice to feel understood

Hello Martin, I am a 59 year old woman and looking to accept and autism spectrum diagnosis. I am scared but willing, to make this be my first conversation about autism and it brings a mixed bag of tears to my eyes. My life has been a puzzle to me since a young child. There has been infant and toddler and adolescent sexual trauma, neglect and abandonment leaving chronic PTSD symptoms as well. Add in attention deficit, low self-esteem and social rejection and the list goes on. However at 59 years old it is the social conversation, the lack of understanding of social cues and realizing just how awkward I am from another's perspective. I know God has given has given me great strengths and abilities to give me confidence in parts of my life, however the fear of not having friends and relationships and close family ties, haunts me. For too long I have been hard on myself when my interactions with others do not come out as I hoped or as I really felt in my heart. So ultimately the purpose of my responding is my first acknowledgment that autism may be at the root of layers and layers of things in my life that have not really gone how I have expected and being confused as to what is missing about me and my ability to connect two people and have an enduring friendship or relationship. It is easier to go It alone, but the loneliness I can do without. It is crazy to think that after 59 years as a female that has struggled her whole life, especially in the social areas, that autism just may be the diagnosis of what I am just beginning to understand and believe others, my family, need to hear from me and it would explain so much to them about what has been a "secret" dfficulty for me.

Please, I welcome anyone to say hello and give me some encouragement as I step forward in writing new chapters for my life. It would help me from getting into my head and give me an opportunity to verbalize that which has impacted me for so long. God bless you all!!

I was diagnosed last year at 59, and, like you, found it to be very validating - having a reason for so many of my problems and limitations. Though Covid obviously has limited social interactions, I have not directly spoken to any other autistic person except my daughter, who was diagnosed the day after my diagnosis. I did find that one of my friends and former colleague was autistic, by email. My close family knew I was being assessed beforehand, so no disclosure needed there. I have told my wider family and close friends, probably a dozen people in all, including spouses. I didn't get a single negative reaction, though I did have to explain how autism works a few times. One friend, who I have known since I was 14, wrote me such a remarkably kind note that I was close to tears, and I do not cry easily at all.

you got a month on me and i am 35yrs old talk about late haha

i know what you mean about the trepidation of informing someone and what their response will be,

the way i look at it is i have always been adhd+autisc but now its managed 

i haven't changed suddenly sprouted wings and a tail etc i am still the same idiot i have always been just more organised and less paranoid,stressed,depressed etc 

the thing you have to be mindful of is some people just don't understand it and no amount of explaining will get them to as long as you understand even though its a new diagnoses your still you and your unique