Why can’t you just be like the other children? Late diagnosed or self diagnosed adults, Can we forgive parents?

Excellent post Roy.

As you say, for a lot of us, very little was known about Autism when we were children. Our traits were all too often misunderstood. I understand why, but sometimes I find it hard not to feel a sense of resentment.

Had more been known about Autism when I was a child, might I have been treated with more understanding by my parents, relatives, teachers, and people in general? I think it's natural to ponder these things. Of course, none of us will ever know if our lives might have turned out differently if there had been more knowledge about Autism.

I personally can understand your inability to forgive your mother, but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that I have a rather difficult relationship with my own mother.

At age 52, I’ve come to see my Autism as being God’s Punishment for being disobedient to parents in childhood, as all parental Authority comes from God, even if my parents because of thier own issues did not know how to be parents and even if they should not have been allowed to bring a child into the world and were considered unsuitable for Marriage, where both their and both my grandparents marriages on both sides of my family were disapproved of for whatever reasons in the Catholic Ireland of the time and according to Catholic Social Teachings - had I been taught (and properly understood) my Catholic faith better in childhood, I might well have been a model child, even if I’d been taken off my parents (which I now realise I should have been) and sent to live with my grandparents family and/or sent to live with Nuns in a Convent, as my grandparents before they passed in the 1980’s remained hugely concerned at my upbringing, as thier belief was that a “harsh” childhood with ultra strict discipline results in stronger adults, which was something I never had, so I was unable to “cop myself on” and (properly) grow up, while “falling into sin” in my teenage years as an only child, in choosing the gay path in the process, which I only realised 15 years ago after I returned to my faith after I cut all ties with that lifestyle, that was never considered appropriate by anyone in my particular case, given my only child background and the situation with my parents - I only share these things on here to help others, especially young people and to avoid making the same mistakes that I made - and my lived life experiences are textbook in helping others, especially children, in our times - unlike homosexuality, despite the parallels, only Autism is mainly a genetic condition, aside from any other causes of autism like childhood vaccines, parenting, etc 

This all sounds so incredibly sad. How awful to see your Autism as a "punishment from God". Experimentation is a normal part of discovering your sexuality. Are you really saying that neurodiversity is a condemnation? It is a physical difference in how the brain develops....which starts before you are even born and have had the opportunity to sin. 

It really DISTURBS ME to think that you might share these thoughts with vulnerable young people, who already struggle to find a sense of self-worth. I am new to this community and this thinking seems to be in stark contrast to the understanding and compassion expressed in comments from other participants.   

Did the spam filter get you Irish? I got a notification saying you'd responded but when I clicked and loaded into the thread it isn't here.

I am sorry but I really don't understand what you are saying here. In your earlier post you seemed to be advocating the strict, disciplinary approach you might have had from your grandparents. You also say that your Autism is punishment from God. Now you appear to be reproaching people who have tried to insist on your compliance and told you you were in the wrong.

Maybe you are playing devil's advocate here?  

It reflects how already, just like with mental health issues in general, so many people simply refuse to understand, where they think that we are “making “lame” excuses” for certain behaviours that are seen by them as “negative” and similar and where they firmly believe and maintain that the “only” way to “correct” our issues is by thier imposing of ultra strict Millitary-style discipline, regarding us as “wrong” in all things (by default) because of our condition and don’t want to hear anything from us, except the silence of compliance and total obedience to thier commands without question, protest, objection nor any other comment - I put down what I’ve had screamed at me down the phone since my diagnosis and earlier, after family had “encouraged” (instructed/ordered) me to get a diagnosis in 2019 as some family members are ex-millitary officers with that mindset and who think that they are “doing good” by this approach - any time I’ve ever tried to explain anything, I’ve simply been screamed at that I “don’t understand that I’m wrong” and that I need to “cop onto myself and grow up” - they want a whole intervention team to come in and totally take charge of everything, every little thing right down to the smallest details of every aspect of my life and frankly, I don’t even think  that they would ever even listen to the autism experts at this point, because they are such huge believers in the value of the disciplinary-based mindset in managing this condition 

It reflects how already, just like with mental health issues in general, so many people simply refuse to understand, where they think that we are “making “lame” excuses” for certain behaviours that are seen by them as “negative” and similar and where they firmly believe and maintain that the “only” way to “correct” our issues is by thier imposing of ultra strict Millitary-style discipline, regarding us as “wrong” in all things (by default) because of our condition and don’t want to hear anything from us, except the silence of compliance and total obedience to thier commands without question, protest, objection nor any other comment - I put down what I’ve had screamed at me down the phone since my diagnosis and earlier, after family had “encouraged” (instructed/ordered) me to get a diagnosis in 2019 as some family members are ex-millitary officers with that mindset and who think that they are “doing good” by this approach - any time I’ve ever tried to explain anything, I’ve simply been screamed at that I “don’t understand that I’m wrong” and that I need to “cop onto myself and grow up” - they want a whole intervention team to come in and totally take charge of everything, every little thing right down to the smallest details of every aspect of my life and frankly, I don’t even think  that they would ever even listen to the autism experts at this point, because they are such huge believers in the value of the disciplinary-based mindset in managing this condition 

Did the spam filter get you Irish? I got a notification saying you'd responded but when I clicked and loaded into the thread it isn't here.