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Advice needed

NAS79234

Hello

My fiancée is awaiting a diagnosis of autism and things have been very stressful. I have been doing my best to support him but he is really struggling with work; he has worked in factories locally but he has found it very stressful- he does not like constant interruptions and he finds it difficult to multitask. As such , he often comes come having meltdowns which I find very distressing. 

We live in quite a rural area, he tried learning to drive but again found it extremely stressful. 

I am trying my best to support him but I do worry with the work situation  and what he will do. I have suggested he talk to his employer about how he feels but he does not want to do this.

I just wondered if anyone had any suggestions on whether there are any services that can help people at work? He said he would much prefer to work alone remotely - any advice of where to find these jobs? We are in Somerset. 

  • I could not manage driving a manual car, but switching to automatic was an absolute game changer for me. I went from having anxiety attacks every time I smelt petrol to passing on an intensive week course first time, so please don't write it off. I learnt in Bristol with Gareth at 2nd2None who was extremely accommodating of my needs https://www.2nd2nonedrivingschool.co.uk/

    This might also help https://www.disabilitydrivinginstructors.com/find-an-instructor/ 

    This website looks helpful - https://www.remploy.co.uk/individuals/finding-work-and-support-work/ 

    and https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/employment/seeking-work/autistic-adults from this site

    There are lots of remote/flexible jobs in tech - there are lots of apprenticeships if your fiancee would be interested in retraining? My partner is a software engineer and by his account it is pretty inclusive of neurodiversity as sectors go. Bristol / Bath is a real hub for tech.

    Your fiancee is very fortunate to have you - please look after yourself too. 

  • in reply to Blue

    Dear Blue,

    Thank you so much for your response.

    This information is so helpful and I had no idea about the driving issues. 

    I will encourage him to speak to the local disability employment advisor.

    Thanks again. 

  • Remote working unless you have a degree the digital art sector is very difficult, The business and companies that require you to work from home in my own experience without any real qualification are really shady employers and i would avoid them at all costs. 

    You could visit your local job centre and talk to the disability employment advisor that can refer, inform and advise you on his options and even refer you to someone would can perform a health care plan and get them access to the employment team that has been created as part of the social system to get individuals with autism, ADHD and disabilities access to employment. It may be different from my local authority so you might want to go exploring on the interweb.   

    I would avoid other employment schemes as they are often useless stress inducing waste of time. If he voluntary leaves his job without asking and getting reasonable adjustment made he will be deemed as making himself unemployed and may not get benefits for two or three months. 

    He want to be careful about showing distress with his driving instructor because they are legal obligated to report individuals with autism to the DVLA if they deem them of not being capable of driving. I have been waiting three years for the DVLA to make decision to let me start my driving lessons again.