Hi, my name is Morgan. I was diagnosed with autism around 6 years ago now. I have BPD too and ADHD (full house some would say).
At the moment I get very over whelmed very quickly and I cannot control my meltdowns. When I feel like I will have one nothing I do tends to help and its driving me insane. When having a meltdown my emotions are not regulated, I cry, I scream, I punch things, smash my head into things regularly, I also do things to harm myself in other ways. I am not aware or in control whilst this is happening. I don't make an awful lot of sense. I have a sensory box with things, but by the time I realised sentry may help, its already too late. I don't understand myself. I am on waitlist for something called structured psychological support. I am under secondary mental health team but I feel like I am getting no where fast and I'm just losing myself a bit. I have a real hard time processing things at the moment too. It goes in but takes a while to understand and process.
I have 2 amazing cats that I love but I struggle to have those feelings for people. I have just got out of a relationship that needed to end for my mental health, and the mental health of the other person. It's left me feeling a lot of guilt and fear of regret when I know for a fact it was the right thing to do. There has not been an awful lot of help in terms of support for autism for adults. It seems you get diagnosed and then it's like --GOOD LUCK!
Gosh, I just feel crazy. Has anyone else gone through anything similar, I know everyone is different, but I honestly just want to relate to someone else out there?
