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making friends

C.E

I'm 19, autistic and in university, until recently I was planning to move in with 2 friends I have made during my first year for my next year of uni. Due to a range of circumstances things have changed and that might not be happening anymore. Although even if we don't they are still planning to live together without me, I have suggested ways around this but they are always shot down. It feels as though the decision has already been made. I am actually very hurt by this as I don't have any more close friends and nowhere to live next year. does this mean we are still friends? I have asked and they say yes but it feels very isolating being the third in a set of best friends. I just don't know what to do, I can't go through the whole making friends process again as it was so draining and challenging the first time round. any kind of advice would be greatly apricated. 

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  • I can relate to feeling quite paranoid around this subject. When I went to Uni I felt very insecure and the friendships I made and the dynamics between the different people I met there. It’s so hard to read what other people really think of you. I’m sorry - it’s a really unsettling feeling isn’t it? Eventually I met my boyfriend (now husband) who is also autistic (although less so than me) and after that we were just with each other all the time and the friendship thing was less important to me. It’s not easy. Really there are no easy answers - you just have to keep trying and also try not to get too hurt if people don’t seem very friendly. Try your best not to take it to heart if people aren’t as friendly as you’d like. Eventually you’ll meet someone you connect with hopefully - in my experience this is more likely to happen if they are also neurodiverse. 

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thank you, I'll definitely keep that in mind when it does feel too much. And I'll speak to my university and see if there are any groups I could join in order to make friends in a controlled setting

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