Hello, I'm new here 
I'm on a 2 year waiting list for an autism assessment, but identify as autistic.
Yesterday I had a meltdown before work and couldn't go in. I literally lay in bed crying for 2 hours then phoned in sick.
My normal manager is off sick so I had to speak to a different one, who doesn't quite know what's been going on with me. I managed to say my brain wouldn't let me function, that I think I'm autistic and cried throughout, so now manager thinks I'm having a breakdown and has told me not to come in for the rest of the week and phone the doctor.
I feel much better today, after spending all yesterday morning crying, I managed to get dressed go for a walk, do some chores, have a nap, etc and just calm down.
Now part of me thinks I should phone the doctor, so I can tell manager I have, even though I don't think there's any medication I can take to cure autism (I'm already on antidepressants and on my second lot of CBT after having a nervous breakdown last year).
I told manager I just needed a day to calm down and that this was normal for me, and I think she was being kind by saying feeling this bad isn't ok, and she has autistic family members and it doesn't stop them doing anything. I dunno, I feel misunderstood and annoyed and like she won't understand that I woke up yesterday, thought it was Sunday instead of Monday, my manager is off sick, my favourite safest colleague has just left, and my bosses want to talk to each of us individually at some unspecified time about why work is s toxic - and all of that overwhelmed me and made me meltdown.
I feel like it was an autistic thing, rather than an anxiety/depression thing, but I don't know how to talk to manager about that (she's a very strong personality and doesn't take no for an answer!)
This was long. I think it's helped me just to write it out. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? I don't know what to do...
