Job Interviews - a very public torture

Just recovering from having a job interview. And recovering is the word! 

As you may know I already have a job but I saw an ad for soemthing I was really interetsed in. I spend a day cramming interview skills and I wasn't prepared enough even if I were not autistic.

Now I am trying to stay positive as I at least did have something to say.... but it was such a trainwreck of an interview and now I'm here with insomnia because I keep relieving how awful it was. I am going through all my responses and just thinking OMG why on earth did I say that. I know there's something about being yourself.... but what was I thinking.

It's not so much about not getting the job... as there are other reasons not to accept the role even if they offered it to me. It is the fact that it feels like a very public humiliation! I'm just hoping that everyone on the interview panel is also autistic and didn't notice about how badly my repsonses were. But I don't think that is how managment tends to be.

Has anyone used the NAS support for interview skills?

I'm just hoping that someone on the forum can relate and tell me that it can just be how it is. I know that the adbvice is often to get work through other techniques such as through being known for a good worker. And I guess this is how I have managed to get to being in work. But I just feel awful inside.

Parents
  • I relate.

    My sense of public humiliation is built on not knowing what others think of me and fearing the worst.

    Thus, my feelings are based upon my faith that my fears are what is providing sensory information.  

    In this situation memory and imagination powerfully block out real sensory input.  
    Right now, anxiety about my dental treatment overwhelms the sounds sights etc of my current reality.  All that is real is within my senses but I am addicted to the unreal ‘head’ version.  That is so malleable as to be threateningly open to any imaginary danger dredged up from past feelings. 


    The problem of emotional turmoil for me is at its worst when I am temporarily immune to seeing my truth: my most painful fears are imaginary catastrophes which appear to be overwhelmingly real catastrophes.  I seem to be powerless over these feelings and I have to resist the urge to fight them to get rid of them. 
    Maybe that is what is meant by ‘don’t fight the feelings float through them’ but my literalism makes floating in this context hard to accomplish.  
    I suppose it should read: ‘don’t fight, imagine you are floating. 

Reply
  • I relate.

    My sense of public humiliation is built on not knowing what others think of me and fearing the worst.

    Thus, my feelings are based upon my faith that my fears are what is providing sensory information.  

    In this situation memory and imagination powerfully block out real sensory input.  
    Right now, anxiety about my dental treatment overwhelms the sounds sights etc of my current reality.  All that is real is within my senses but I am addicted to the unreal ‘head’ version.  That is so malleable as to be threateningly open to any imaginary danger dredged up from past feelings. 


    The problem of emotional turmoil for me is at its worst when I am temporarily immune to seeing my truth: my most painful fears are imaginary catastrophes which appear to be overwhelmingly real catastrophes.  I seem to be powerless over these feelings and I have to resist the urge to fight them to get rid of them. 
    Maybe that is what is meant by ‘don’t fight the feelings float through them’ but my literalism makes floating in this context hard to accomplish.  
    I suppose it should read: ‘don’t fight, imagine you are floating. 

Children
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